The Funniest Tweets about Michael Cohen’s Testimony
Photo courtesy of Getty Images Comedy Lists Michael Cohen
Michael Cohen is currently still testifying before Congress’s House Oversight Committee, and if you aren’t watching, you’re missing some of the most embarrassing displays yet from pro-Trump Republican representatives. Apparently they think making Cohen look incompetent and like the biggest liar ever somehow won’t reflect poorly on the president who employed him for years. That’s not a problem yet, though, because Republicans like Jim Jordan, Jody Hice and Paul Gosar (who are basically golems made entirely of right wing talk radio segments) are doing such a terrible job that they’ve failed to make anything stick against Cohen. Yeah, Cohen’s a liar and a conman, and not a particularly smart one at that, but he’s outclassing these Republicans so thoroughly during this hearing that he’s making them look like even bigger liars, conmen, and ignoramuses. It’s legitimately an impressive feat. Go ahead and check our political team’s fantastic coverage of the hearings if you want some actual news or analysis about the stuff.
If you just want some jokes, though, keep reading. Cohen’s testimony is the kind of spectacle perfectly engineered to dominate the trending topics on Twitter, and, no surprise, that’s what’s happening. Here are the funniest tweets we’ve found so far about Cohen’s testimony, covering stuff like Trump’s contempt for his son Don Jr., the legal threats Trump had Cohen make to prevent schools from releasing Trump’s transcripts, and one Republican’s laughable tactic of having an actual woman show up to play the black employee that PROVES Donald Trump can’t be racist.
Republicans are trying so hard to prove that Cohen is a piece of shit as though the whole point isn’t that he’s a piece of shit that Trump loved and hired BECAUSE Trump is a piece of shit who only surrounds himself with pieces of shit.
— maura quint (@behindyourback) February 27, 2019
Michael Cohen’s daughter’s thought bubble reads, “omg dad stop talking about me stop bringing up London stopstopstop I am dead kill me if I am not dead…”
— Jamie Denbo (@jamiedenbo) February 27, 2019
Don’t envy anything about Michael Cohen’s life but I’m iterally so jealous that he got to say “shame on you Jim Jordan” to Jim Jordan’s shitty face #CohenTestimony
— Alise Morales (@AliseNavidad) February 27, 2019
Trump covering up his crimes is the hardest he’s ever worked. #CohenTestimony
— Brooke Van Poppelen (@BVPcomedy) February 27, 2019
It’s going to be weird explaining to our grandchildren how horny we all got about congressional hearings
— Erin frenemy of the people Ryan (@morninggloria) February 27, 2019
“Being around Mr. Trump was intoxicating” pic.twitter.com/Uk81GAElEP
— Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) February 27, 2019
It’s fun to listen to the #CohenTestimony audio. You can figure out who the Republicans are within 5 seconds of speaking.
— Chris Regan (@ChrisRRegan) February 27, 2019
This is an opportunity for real bipartisanship: Democrats and Republicans alike agree with President Trump that Don Jr. is an idiot. #CohenTestimony
— Carol Hartsell (@carolrhartsell) February 27, 2019
jody hice: holding up torn magazine picture of doll mr. cohen, is this a picture of a true detective, and is adam schiff your true detective, and would you say that tom steyer hired you to carry out a true detective, i yield back the rest of my words to the bible
— #occupymarwen (@Mobute) February 27, 2019
Shoutout to Jim Jordan on being shitty enough to make Donald Trump’s ambulance chasing lawyer look like Jimmy Stewart.
— Mike Drucker (@MikeDrucker) February 27, 2019
Thank you, Mr. Chairman. Mr. COHEN, if the President is a racist, as you have CLAIMED, then WHY would his administration have a black EMPLOYEE? gestures to employee
— Patrick Monahan (@pattymo) February 27, 2019
Calling him “Mr. Trump” feels like calling a squirrel “Sir”
— Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) February 27, 2019
My main takeaway from the Michael Cohen hearings – business is incredibly boring.
— Julius Sharpe (@juliussharpe) February 27, 2019
it’s pretty clear that the entire republican party is trump’s new fixer
— Josh Hara (@yoyoha) February 27, 2019
Wow I am 100% sure that these Republicans are just as angry when Donald Trump lies about things!
— Brian Tashman (@briantashman) February 27, 2019
you need a recording of trump being racist? check the internet, pal
— Joselyn Hughes (@joselynhughes) February 27, 2019
How are you out here getting lit up by Michael Cohen? Long Island Droopy Dog is running circles around you! Chopped-and-screwed Woody Allen, the crime guy, just absolutely dogging you out.
— David Roth (@david_j_roth) February 27, 2019
i would have so much respect if fox news spent the entire cohen testimony reporting on the war on christmas
— John DeVore (@JohnDeVore) February 27, 2019
I did not expect Cohen to be the entire GOPs ghost of Jacob Marley today, but here we are.
— Matt Braunger (@Braunger) February 27, 2019
Just a fun reminder – while Republicans question Michael Cohen on a WomenForCohen Twitter account, the clock is ticking on addressing climate change before the world is irreparably changed in 10 years.
— Jake Plunkett (@JakePlunkett) February 27, 2019
Michael Cohen taking down Trump is like The Joker being defeated by dysentery
— Matt Oswalt (@MattOswaltVA) February 27, 2019
Damn this Trump email Cohen provided to Congress is pretty damning…#CohenTestimonypic.twitter.com/1bOZuXZJqD
— Alise Morales (@AliseNavidad) February 27, 2019
This Michael Cohen sign has narrowly beaten out Michael Cohen as the dumbest thing in the room pic.twitter.com/IDuYn2YFZz
— Chase Mitchell (@ChaseMit) February 27, 2019
They should have just let each Republican privately ask Cohen if he had anything on them, so they could decide for themselves whether or not to be extra insane.
— Johnny McNulty (@JohnnyMcNulty) February 27, 2019
[CUT TO: Jacob Wohl screaming draft tweets attacking Cohen as his mom frantically registers yet another account]
— Johnny McNulty (@JohnnyMcNulty) February 27, 2019
The whole Trump saga is like the Godfather but if all of the characters were Fredo
— Dan Pfeiffer (@danpfeiffer) February 27, 2019
He’s Man Pretending He Can’t Do Laundry So His Wife Just Gets Frustrated And Does It For Him, with pretending he’s too dumb for crimes
— Erin frenemy of the people Ryan (@morninggloria) February 27, 2019
BREAKING: Disbarred New York Lawyer Michael Cohen To Begin New Career In Country Music pic.twitter.com/MhpS909dhb
— Johnny McNulty (@JohnnyMcNulty) February 27, 2019
If you haven’t watched the Cohen hearings, here is a synopsis…
Democrats- Wanting the truth.
Republicans- Wanting to make sure Cohen doesn’t do a book deal.
— Tony Posnanski (@tonyposnanski) February 27, 2019
I’d like to say something to the gop members of Congress questioning Cohen in the same tone men have said it to me dozens of times: calm down
— Tamara Yajia (@DancesWithTamis) February 27, 2019