The Funniest Tweets About the State of the Union

Okay, we’re sorry: none of these tweets are actually funny. I mean, they all made us laugh, but, like, legitimate humor is dead and completely impossible in this hellish nightmare that the unluckiest of us have to wake up to every morning. If you can laugh about an endless speech where our overflowing sewer of a president portrays immigrants as soulless murderers, leads half the chamber in a round of cheers over stripping millions of Americans of life-preserving insurance, and just generally indulges his indefatigable thirst for thoughtless, hate-driven assholery, then, well, you also probably thought Claude Lanzmann’s Shoah was a laff riot.

Anyway. Anyway. The content mill churns on.

If anything could be funny right now, these tweets would be it. As hard as it is to laugh right now, these mothers all did the job, to some degree. We’re not happy about it, we’re not proud to admit it, but yes, we were able to find a tiny bit of solace in some pretty dark gallows humor tonight.

And if it sounds like we’re overdoing the apocalyptic negativity, well, you probably can’t even imagine how much we had to drink to stomach just reading tweets about that speech tonight. (No, we didn’t watch it—wrestling was on.)

These tweets are fine. They are good. Appreciate them. They’re all we got tonight.

the state of the union is that the president is still a white supremacist

— Rembert Browne (@rembert) January 31, 2018

I keep reading SOTU as STFU

— Myka Fox ?? (@MykaFox) January 30, 2018

You know how people saw that rat showering and were like wow, “that’s amazing that a rat can shower?” Well, that’s how the media is with the president reading speeches.

— Peter Schultz (@pete_schultz) January 31, 2018

I predict that tonight the president will chase his own ass around in a little circle until he gets dizzy and faints

— Shawn (@online_shawn) January 30, 2018

Can we cancel the State of the Union & just move up the release date of Black Panther to tonight? Lupita Nyong’o is my president anyway.

— Clint Smith (@ClintSmithIII) January 30, 2018

Stop getting my hopes up, CNN. #SOTUpic.twitter.com/O0ojpf9jBL

— amber ruffin (@ambermruffin) January 31, 2018

I was thinking about that A-hole who yelled “you lie” to Obama during his State of the Union. I wonder if the whole congress is going to do that in unison tonight.

— Albert Brooks (@AlbertBrooks) January 30, 2018

This State of the Union is going to feel like a new Transformers movie. The people that were going to hate it will hate it and the people that are going to love it fucking terrify me.

— Mike Lawrence (@TheMikeLawrence) January 31, 2018

Half of the new jobs Trump has created are just federal prosecutors

— Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) January 31, 2018

IDEA: the 3 judges from The Voice sit in on tonite’s state of the union & spin around at the end, but keep spinning until the earth opens up

— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) January 30, 2018

Pretty sure Donald and Melania always come separately. #SOTU

— Bryan Donaldson (@TheNardvark) January 31, 2018

Calm down with the standing ovations, fellas. This isn’t a Todd Barry show. #SOTU

— Todd Barry (@toddbarry) January 31, 2018

No thanks, SOTU. If I wanted to watch an unqualified man brag about getting a job a woman should’ve gotten, I’d apply for a promotion.

— (((????????????????????????????????????????????????????))) (@OhNoSheTwitnt) January 31, 2018

The state of the union pic.twitter.com/dXwLgo9FED

— Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) January 30, 2018

Imagine being so white that you show up to the State of The Union to applaud for Donald Trump 

— Wanjiko Eke (@WanjikoIAm) January 31, 2018

See, I guess my major problem is that I’m watching a lying, racist, incompetent, thieving, possibly illiterate sexual predator reading the #SOTU and I guess that gets me down.

— Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnson) January 31, 2018

“The American motto is ‘In God We Trust,” says man who proves God doesn’t exist. #SOTU

— Hari Kondabolu (@harikondabolu) January 31, 2018

all these standing ovations are gonna be hell on those old republican knees

— Desus Nice (@desusnice) January 31, 2018

Seeing this I’m actually glad that I have like a casual no strings attached thing with this country

— julio torres ~* (@juliothesquare) January 31, 2018

Who did you guys pick in your office “First Reporter to Call This Mentally Unstable Racist Traitor ‘Presidential,'” tonight?

— Danny Zuker (@DannyZuker) January 31, 2018

I’m watching the #SOTU:

Sex
On
The
Upper Level of a Parking Garage

— Allen Strickland Williams (@TotallyAllen) January 31, 2018

#SOTU Coal’s the only thing the GOP loves that’s black.

— Mat Johnson (@mat_johnson) January 31, 2018

It’s not often you see a president battling his own attention span during a speech.

— Louis Virtel (@louisvirtel) January 31, 2018

Good luck to “Saturday Night Live” on trying to make this any more fucking ridiculous than it already is. #SOTU

— andy lassner (@andylassner) January 31, 2018

Welp … our website just crashed.

Thanks for reading ?!!? We’ll keep things up here on Twitter while we see what happened.

— PolitiFact (@PolitiFact) January 31, 2018

Tonight Donald Trump finally became president of the Confederacy.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) January 31, 2018

People make fun of Trump a lot for sounding so stupid when he talks off the cuff but when he reads a prepared speech you can really appreciate how idiotic his “serious” face is.

— Paul F. Tompkins (@PFTompkins) January 31, 2018

I hope the judge who ends up sentencing the Trumps is an immigrant.

— Ally (@missmayn) January 31, 2018

America stands with the people of Iran in their courageous struggle for freedom and also they are all banned from the United States

— Judd Legum (@JuddLegum) January 31, 2018

when is this over?

(not the SOTU — life.)

— Jen Statsky (@jenstatsky) January 31, 2018

Tonight was the moment Trump became editor of Fangoria

— Mike Drucker (@MikeDrucker) January 31, 2018