Okay, we’re sorry: none of these tweets are actually funny. I mean, they all made us laugh, but, like, legitimate humor is dead and completely impossible in this hellish nightmare that the unluckiest of us have to wake up to every morning. If you can laugh about an endless speech where our overflowing sewer of a president portrays immigrants as soulless murderers, leads half the chamber in a round of cheers over stripping millions of Americans of life-preserving insurance, and just generally indulges his indefatigable thirst for thoughtless, hate-driven assholery, then, well, you also probably thought Claude Lanzmann’s Shoah was a laff riot.
Anyway. Anyway. The content mill churns on.
If anything could be funny right now, these tweets would be it. As hard as it is to laugh right now, these mothers all did the job, to some degree. We’re not happy about it, we’re not proud to admit it, but yes, we were able to find a tiny bit of solace in some pretty dark gallows humor tonight.
And if it sounds like we’re overdoing the apocalyptic negativity, well, you probably can’t even imagine how much we had to drink to stomach just reading tweets about that speech tonight. (No, we didn’t watch it—wrestling was on.)
These tweets are fine. They are good. Appreciate them. They’re all we got tonight.
the state of the union is that the president is still a white supremacist
You know how people saw that rat showering and were like wow, “that’s amazing that a rat can shower?” Well, that’s how the media is with the president reading speeches.
I was thinking about that A-hole who yelled “you lie” to Obama during his State of the Union. I wonder if the whole congress is going to do that in unison tonight.
This State of the Union is going to feel like a new Transformers movie. The people that were going to hate it will hate it and the people that are going to love it fucking terrify me.
See, I guess my major problem is that I’m watching a lying, racist, incompetent, thieving, possibly illiterate sexual predator reading the #SOTU and I guess that gets me down.
People make fun of Trump a lot for sounding so stupid when he talks off the cuff but when he reads a prepared speech you can really appreciate how idiotic his “serious” face is.