The Funniest Tweets About Ted Cruz’s Twitter Porn Gaffe
Photo by Alex Wong / Getty Images Comedy Lists Ted Cruz
Last night the official Twitter account for Ted Cruz, a man who doesn’t think people have the legal right to masturbate, liked a porn video on Twitter. On 9/11. The junior US Senator from Texas and former candidate for the 2016 Republican Presidential nomination has built his career on the kind of deeply repressed conservatism that basically treats any sexual activity other than missionary position with your spouse like an unpardonable sin (he’s cool with banning sex toys, y’know), so clicking the “like” button on a porn clip on social media doesn’t entirely gibe with his image. Sure, it’s possible an intern or whoever runs his Twitter for him did the actual liking, but let the internet have its fun, which it absolutely had when this news broke last night. Here are the best and funniest tweets about Ted Cruz liking a porn video on Twitter.
This is the night that Ted Cruz became president.
— Jon Favreau (@jonfavs) September 12, 2017
If you jack off to the porno Ted Cruz jacked off to you die three days after you nutt. Like in “The Ring” or as the Japanese say, “Ringu.”
— “TBONE” O’Sullivan (@Bro_Pair) September 12, 2017
Just woke up to my Google alert for “Ted Cruz Porn” and this is not what I meant. I’m going back to bed.
— Jonny (@jonny_is_good) September 12, 2017
Yikes, Ted Cruz. I thought the only person who jerked off on 9/11 was Rudy Giuliani.
— Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) September 12, 2017
Ah, 12:25 AM, finally getting to bed at a reasonable h—Ted Cruz liked a WHATnography tweet
— Patrick Monahan (@pattymo) September 12, 2017
This juxtaposition between Ted Cruz‘s now-deleted porn “like” and his pinned tweet is pretty glorious. pic.twitter.com/Q8HwExpFsn
— shauna (@goldengateblond) September 12, 2017
Why did more of us not have “Ted Cruz porn microscandal” on our 9/11 bingo cards, is really the question
— Andi Zeisler (@andizeisler) September 12, 2017
Idk about the rest of you but these Ted Cruz faces have just taken on a whole other meaning for me. pic.twitter.com/AYLekk6eBC
— Ju-Hyun Park (@Hermit_Hwarang) September 12, 2017
Ted Cruz liked the most normal porn possible to cover for how his alt account only likes videos of women eating human hair
— Kate Leth ???? SPX W33 (@kateleth) September 12, 2017
What kind of sick pervert was looking through Ted Cruz‘s Likes?
— Brandon Scott Wolf (@BrandonEsWolf) September 12, 2017
Is Ted Cruz cranking his hog to porno on 9/11 more or less weird than a person who looks up to see what Ted Cruz “likes” on Twitter on 9/11?
— Jake Fogelnest (@jakefogelnest) September 12, 2017
“please fap” https://t.co/qSTiPpC0kC
— Jenn Frank (@jennfrankgames) September 12, 2017
its genuinely heartwarming to me that literally the entire internet can pause to laugh together at ted cruz pounding off
— jon hendren (@fart) September 12, 2017
HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO EXPLAIN TED CRUZ TO OUR CHILDREN?!
— m@®|{ µø??û§?????????? (@markhoppus) September 12, 2017
Honestly would’ve figured Ted Cruz for a Simpsons porn guy
— Chase Mitchell (@ChaseMit) September 12, 2017
If u watched that porn clip ted Cruz favorited you gotta add him to your body count.
— Desus Nice (@desusnice) September 12, 2017
Even Ted Cruz‘s porn is about being jealous that other people have friends.
— Kashana (@kashanacauley) September 12, 2017
Don’t let the Ted Cruz porn story distract you from the fact that he is somehow younger than Jennifer Lopez.
— Louis Virtel (@louisvirtel) September 12, 2017
hey ted cruz if you liked watching women getting fucked so much you’re gonna love the rest of this trump administration
— lauren ashley bishop (@sbellelauren) September 12, 2017
Only thing about Ted Cruz that I relate to.
— billy eichner (@billyeichner) September 12, 2017
I just hope that if I ever wind up in porn,Ted Cruz hates it.
— Shalyah Evans (@ShalyahEvans) September 12, 2017
Ted Cruz probably went to PornHub and just typed “porn” in the search bar
— Psychology Hacker (@boring_as_heck) September 12, 2017
while every one is talking about ted cruz pulling his hog on 9/11 it’s a good time to sneak in some opinions. ketchup is a garbage condiment
— leon ???? (@leyawn) September 12, 2017
Ted Cruz is currently planning a press conference to admit the Zodiac murders as a diversion.
— E.J. Coughlin (@ejc) September 12, 2017
As an award winning social media producer, I guarantee Ted Cruz was hacked. That dude is clearly into body horror / Sonic the Hedgehog shit.
— Dan Telfer (@dantelfer) September 12, 2017
The most surprising thing about the porn video Ted Cruz liked is that the people in it were alive
— Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) September 12, 2017
wow ted cruz needs to chill pic.twitter.com/VqW3SCL2dU
— goth turtle (@dubstep4dads) September 12, 2017