You’d think spending hours a day in a car would make you look at Twitter even more and yet that is not what happened to me earlier this week. If this latest utterly inessential round-up of the funniest tweets of the week seems very light on the first few days of that time period, that’s because yeah, I wasn’t looking at this miserable death app all that much. I was probably asleep in a van, or driving a van, or reading some non-fiction baseball book I bought at an outlet book store like 10 years ago. Look, I love you, but sometimes you have to find your own tweets.
Here’s what I was around for, though: the televised obliteration of Mike Bloomberg in the form of a debate; the simultaneous phoenix-like rise of Elizabeth Warren’s listing campaign; Trump taking the time at one of his incoherent cult meeting rallies to bash Parasite and wish 81-year-old slavery apologia Gone With the Wind had won best picture instead; and incels, trolls and cyberassholes somehow turning the Sonic the Hedgehog movie into some kind of anti-feminism thing. Truly a slambang week of absolute misery and nonsense. Here are the tweets about it all. Once again, follow every person whose account you see below, and if you already follow them, follow them again, or something.