Let’s see, a few interesting things happened this week. First Elon Musk, union-buster and Rick and Morty fan, went to Thailand to offer his tiny submarine as a means of rescuing the soccer team trapped in a cave. An obvious PR stunt, it would never have worked and was roundly rejected by the multinational team of divers conducting the rescue operation. Phewf! Later in the week, Musk was revealed as a major donor Republican PAC. His response was that he gives money to both parties so he can call up Congress whenever he pleases. Cool, great! Finally, and this is where it really gets juicy, after one of the rescuers criticized Musk’s terrible submarine, Musk called the man a pedophile and vowed to prove once and for all that his sub would’ve worked. Incredible! Nothing else happened this week. Here are the tweets:
Kylie Jenner The Youngest Person To Refuse Solving The Flint Water Crisis Even Though They Could
— jaboukie young-white (@jaboukie) July 12, 2018
Thinking about how in Harry Potter there was an evil shop full of death magic on evil street and everyone was just fine with this being a place of business. Wizards are stupid as shit.
— TAFKA “jncos” (@gapingmaws) July 14, 2018
don’t you see, he’s not supporting them, he’s attempting to buy them, which is different and better, for some reason pic.twitter.com/3uIpu3PYQO
— Max Read (@max_read) July 15, 2018
Weird that dating Colin Jost could ever be the second biggest mistake someone’s made all year
— Richard Lawson (@rilaws) July 14, 2018
The key to a successful relationship is to be an improv teacher dating their student
— Jake Weisman (@weismanjake) July 11, 2018