I will let you all in on a little secret. Every week, as you know, I compile these lists of the funniest tweets of the week. But what you do not know is that from every list I select one tweet, the funniest of the funniest tweets, and copy it into a separate document. In this document are all the funniest tweets from every list I have ever compiled, going all the way back to, I don’t know, 2016 or whenever. And one day, maybe in the near future, maybe in the distant future, I will post all of these tweets in a grand list to end all lists. And it will be called The Funniest Tweets of the Funniest Tweets of the Week. And then I will finally be free.
tragedy + time = tragedy time
— blaine capatch (@blainecapatch) August 12, 2018
My 13 y.o. son told me that when he hits 99 pounds, he wants to eat one pound of nachos on his own so he can be 1% nacho.
— David Juurlink (@DavidJuurlink) August 12, 2018
so twitter is literally afraid of twitter https://t.co/fhdjxFsQ0o
— Claire Willett (@clairewillett) August 11, 2018
I’m grateful for twitter because I remember what it was like in the 80s. If you had insomnia you had to write out your opinions on hundreds of 3×5 cards & then go around the neighborhood in the middle of the night handing them out.
— Wendy Molyneux (@WendyMolyneux) August 11, 2018
My phone must die so that I may live
— Sam Taggart (@samttaggart) August 11, 2018