Surprise: Dorito Flavored Liquor Is as Gross as You Would Expect

What sensation do you immediately feel in the pit of your stomach, when you see the words “Doritos-infused liquor” on the screen before you? Is there a flutter of excitement, perhaps? Or a twist of revulsion, maybe more likely? The one thing I can’t imagine is a lack of reaction, as the concept of nacho cheese flavored hooch seems hardwired into our human DNA to provoke something visceral and primal. That’s what is coming our way in the next 24 hours, as the Frito-Lay snack giant teams up with adventurous, Denmark-based distillery Empirical to offer a first-of-its-kind concoction: Empirical x Doritos® Nacho Cheese Spirit. Superfans will be able to place their orders on the official site.

“Doritos is all about disrupting culture and bringing our fans unexpected, bold experiences,” said Tina Mahal, Senior Vice President of Marketing for Frito-Lay North America in a statement. “We’re always pushing our fans to try new things, so we figure it’s time we disrupt the spirits category by offering our iconic nacho cheese flavor in a bottle.”

This is not merely some preexisting liqueur that happens to have a few spices in common with the iconic red bag of Nacho Cheese Doritos. This is instead a new spirit built from the ground up, using actual Nacho Cheese corn chips in round after round of vacuum distillation, seeking to capture those specific flavor essences for the final product. And having tasted this product, I can say with no reservations that they absolutely captured that flavor … to my chagrin.

“Empirical is an ‘uncategorized’ spirits company, so it allows us the freedom to experiment with really interesting flavors and not have to be stuck in a gin box or tequila box or whiskey box,” said Lars Williams, Chef/Distiller & CEO, Empirical, in a statement. “And we can take something that has a unique and amazing flavor, like Doritos, and evolve it into something completely new.”

But I’m sure you’re wondering: How does this insane concept actually taste? Well, allow me to paint you a word picture.

On the nose, Empirical x Doritos® Nacho Cheese Spirit begins in a way that is deceptively subtle and mild. I raised this glass to my nose with trepidation, worried that it would be like a blast of concession stand nacho cheese sauce, but that really isn’t the impression. Surprisingly, it’s not really “cheese” that registers here at all, but primarily the corn chip at the heart of the Dorito. There’s a sweet, toasted corn note that isn’t unpleasant, followed up with hints of warm spice, mingling with the expected hints of raw ethanol. All in all, I’ve certainly smelled more objectionable flavored vodkas than this.

On the palate, though … woah, folks. This is where the full Doritos experience really shows up in full force, with a rush of nacho cheese dust from the bottom of a Doritos bag, combined with an acidity and the unusual evocation of Cool Ranch Doritos flavor at the same time. The overall effect is something like drinking the mixed Doritos dust out of a pint of warm, flat beer, which is just as harrowing an experience as it sounds. The spice profile in particular is very uncanny and borderline revolting.

With that said: Is there someone out there who will absolutely love this stuff? Almost certainly there is, but they’ll have a greater appreciation for weapons-grade weirdness than me. Regardless, limited-edition bottles of Empirical x Doritos® Nacho Cheese Spirit will go on sale within the next 24 hours for a suggested retail price of $65 (42% ABV, 750ml), online and in select New York and California markets. If you really want to snag one of these bottles yourself for your next Taco Tuesday, then you can do so right here. I, on the other hand, will be doing my best to try to forget the experience, though I have my doubts of whether this will be possible.

Jim Vorel is a Paste staff writer and resident beer and liquor geek. You can follow him on Twitter for more drink writing.