The fast-food market has become a cruel arms race of ruining beloved snacks. To compete with Taco Bell’s ridiculous Doritos Locos Taco, Burger King has introduced their own ridiculous “Mac N’ Cheetos.”
What exactly is a “Mac N’ Cheeto?” Imagine a Cheeto Puff, except full of macaroni and cheese. And deep-fried. They have taken macaroni and cheese, shaped it into a little cylinder, rolled it in Cheeto dust (you know, the part of the cheeto that sticks to your fingers and makes you realize you’re actually an obese seven-year-old) and thrown it in boiling oil.
A new partnership with Frito-Lay is to thank for this atrocity, which would surely be illegal in most of the EU. This is what Burger King had to say for itself: “We’re partnering up with one of Americans’ favorite brands. It’s quite unique.” That enthusiastic statement comes from Alex Macedo, president of Burger King in North America.
The Mac N’ Cheeto apparently did well in test markets, so it will go nationwide on June 27, at a modest $2.49 for a five-pack. It’s a “limited edition” item, however, and you only have approximately eight weeks (or until supplies run out) to enjoy the 310-calorie snack (though you likely won’t have any bowel regularity for months after).
If you’re actually, legitimately excited about this cylindrical cheese garbage, fret not over its short time with us, as Macedo also said that Burger King is “working on a few other menu items,” and that “there’s room for us to do more together [with Frito-Lay] in the future.” Meanwhile the rest of us will live in terror of which snack will be exploited at the hands of Burger King next, as if the Whopperito wasn’t offensive enough.