The Funniest Tweets of the Week
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It’s Super Bowl weekend and I have a feeling the winner is somehow going to be Billie Eilish. She cleaned up at the Grammys, she’s singing the new Bond song… it feels like it’s her year. This Sunday, Kansas City and San Francisco will duke it out between TV commercials where a car company will try to take credit for the human spirit. Will Patrick Mahomes and the Chiefs pull it off? Will Jimmy G and the number one defense in the league bring the trophy back to San Fran? Either way, these are questions nobody can answer except for maybe the Long Island Medium. All I know is that it will be much better than last year because the Patriots are not in it (thank you, Ryan Fitzpatrick) and that these tweets were the funniest we read on Twitter this week.
Darth Vader’s suit is just an advanced form of blackface, my first column for Buzzfeed.
— Barry McCockiner (SEE PINNED TWEET) (@MegaTroopLover) January 25, 2020
Crying is as good of a release as an orgasm, the only difference is I sometimes cry because of men.
— Ginny Hogan_ (@ginnyhogan_) January 30, 2020
Horses are a great pet for anyone who’s ever wished their bicycle could make bad choices
— Hayden Kristal (@HaydenKristal) January 29, 2020
A sourdough starter is a tamagotchi for people in their 30s
— Louise O’Connor (@oconnola) January 29, 2020
getting diagnosed with adhd as an adult owns cuz you get to walk into a doctor’s office and have a guy with a medical degree tell you “aye boss you got diet autism and the cure is to microdose meth” lmfao
— Kyubey Zirconia (@weedhitler) January 27, 2020