Super Tuesday is just around the corner which means we have just a few more days to cyberbully the mayors out of this race. While Pete Buttigieg was busy tweeting his best ninth grade poetry assignment, billionaire Mike Bloomberg shared some super duper, totally real evidence of vandalism at his various campaign offices on Twitter this week. I’m not sure what’s more fishy: the broken windows with glass outside of the building in Salt Lake City, or the not-vandalised Flint, MI (a town still without clean water, a problem Bloomberg could fix in an instant) office which suffered from a naughty sign put on its door. Either way, Bloomberg’s mysterious comedy writer must be busy trying to spin his boss out of this lunacy. We don’t know who this man is (or woman, but… c’mon) but we know these are the actual funniest tweets of the week.
voting by mail is self care. ignoring the debate is self care. putting on a floor length gown and wandering into the sea with hands full of stones is self care.
— danielle weisberg the railway cat (@danielleweisber) February 26, 2020
When you say you’re endorsing someone as opposed to just saying you’re gonna vote for them pic.twitter.com/S1yoGmYzCc
Lady Gaga is the sweet but insane high school drama club president who tells the principal we have to do The Laramie Project because it is important and we should also do it nude.
Can we all stop it with asking for “adventure” on these dating apps? I’m fearing for my life every minute of every day. Go slacklining with your brother’s dumb friend and leave me alone!!
WRITERS! Remember the important thing is to JUST WRITE. Don’t second guess. WRITE. Don’t make excuses. WRITE. Didn’t get that job? WRITE! Got dumped? WRITE! A man broke into my house 5 minutes ago. Did I, a WRITER, call the cops? No! I crawled under my bed and I WROTE this tweet!
