Good morning everyone. As a quick recap, last week a raccoon climbed all the way to the top of a tall building and Elon Musk described himself as a socialist. Marx, however, was a capitalist, because he wrote a whole book about it, don’t you know. The greatest trick the devil ever played, et cetera. Meanwhile IHOP changed its name to IHOb, because they do burgers now, and a million other brands did bad Twitter jokes. Let’s see, also E3 happened and there’s gonna be a new Elder Scrolls but Waluigi will NOT be in the new Super Smash Bros. Overall mixed week! Pretty bad actually. Well, here they are, the tweets:
“why aren’t there any conservative comedy shows” pic.twitter.com/sRFd2KKb9N
— Ashley Feinberg (@ashleyfeinberg) June 17, 2018
What a beautiful ancient Mesopotamian cuneiform tablet. I wonder what ageless wisdom it conveys? pic.twitter.com/FPUmAZ4AOH
— Helen Ingram (@drhingram) June 15, 2018
You: you shouldn’t drink more than one drink per hour.
Me, wise: the division of time into measurable parts like hours was a necessary precondition of the development of wage labor. By drinking more than one drink in an hour, I am rejecting bourgeois society.— Confirmed e-boy (@rotundmanchild) June 15, 2018
blows quickly into the barrels of my two smoking cartoon pistols pic.twitter.com/cnHUOssg56
— babadook spinoza ? (@joe___nelson) June 15, 2018
when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. or add the zest to your pasta sauce. or squeeze the juice over fish and roast veges. no limit really to the things you can do with the humble lemon, a shit symbol for life’s hardships
— maddie holden (@winningprotocol) June 15, 2018