6 Spicy Bloody Marys for a Cold Weekend

Mary Tudor was made Queen of England and Ireland in 1533. Queen Mary favored an alliance between the throne and the Vatican, and in service of that goal, she was a fairly zealous persecutor of Protestants, and that is why she was nicknamed “Bloody Mary.”

As for how a vodka-tomato juice-celery salt morning-after favorite created in the 1920s came by the same name, accounts are less straightforward. If you check the calendar, there is an “official” Bloody Mary Day, but to borrow (and alter) a phrase from Chandler Bing, “every day is Bloody Mary Day.” Recipes are almost endlessly varied; Though the basic, non-negotiable ingredients are vodka and tomato juice, it’s almost never that simple, and ordering a Bloody Mary can get you anything from spiked tomato juice to a green smoothie that happens to be red (and alcoholic). Back in the dot-com nineties, one of my favorite San Francisco weeknight bars, the Orbit Room, would serve a Bloody Mary that had such an exuberant array of garnishes it legitimately doubled as a salad and required an extra-long straw to even get past the plumes of celery leaves and fennel fronds and spikes of Italian olives and cucumbers and pickled string beans. Man, those things were so good. And for young techies on a budget, that beverage was a handy way to get your veggies and take the edge off.

As to whether the fabled restorative properties of the Bloody Mary are a placebo effect phenomenon or real, as far as I am aware the jury is not officially in, but odds are good that if a Bloody Mary makes you feel better after a long night, you’re probably not making it up. The salt (and usually celery salt and Worcestershire Sauce) is vital for replacing lost electrolytes (tomatoes are inherently also very high in sodium). The vegetables perched on the rim of the glass are hydrating and replace B-complex vitamins. The capsaicin in hot sauce mediates blood flow to your brain and has a subtle pain-killing effect. And you know what, a shot of vodka isn’t a true fix for a hangover but it will feel like one for a bit, giving you a chance to regroup, rehydrate, and… make different choices.

Here are a variety of Marys (and one Snapper!) to help you through this cold January weekend. They range from batch-friendly to petite, and from Southwestern to South Asian, and for those who feel everything is better with bacon, there’s something for you as well. And remember, it’s for medicinal purposes, so it’s fine.

The Garden Affair

Greenbar Distillery, Los Angeles, CA

Ingredients
2 oz. Greenbar Distillery Garden Vodka
1 oz. fresh squeezed lemon juice
1 oz. simple syrup
1/4 Red Bell Pepper
2 dashes hot sauce

Directions: Cut a quarter red pepper into small pieces and place in shaker tin with all other ingredients and ice. Shake hard until your shaker tin goes frosty and the bell pepper is broken up. Strain into a martini glass and garnish with fresh cracked black pepper and a slice of bell pepper.