“Whoever holds the Stick, controls the Universe.” -Cartman
Every now and again a great game slips through the cracks without getting the credit it deserves. If it were a movie, it would be considered a cult classic after everyone realized what they missed. South Park: The Stick of Truth is that game.
Nearly a year after its release, we found it dirt-cheap, in the PS3 store and gave it a download. Between Billy and I, we haven’t tackled a role playing game in years, maybe since Final Fantasy VII on the original PlayStation, so with some reservation we dove into this one. The Stick of Truth embraces and pokes fun at everything that has become cliché in the RPG genre and it’s brilliant.
“I’m going to kick your ass.” -Clyde
“Clyde, you have to wait your turn.” -Cartman
“That’s lame!” -Clyde
“Look, Clyde, it’s like olden times. You have to wait your turn. Like in the Middle Ages, Clyde. I know it’s lame, Clyde, but that’s how we’re f*cking doing it! Alright, Douchebag, bash Clyde’s face in. Don’t be shy.” -Cartman
Everything from the weapons, “magic”, special abilities, armor, the summoning of strange “beasts” to assist you when you battle the likes of Jesus, Mr. Slave, Mr. Hankey, and Tuong Lu Kim (City Wok), and turn-based battles…it’s all a throwback to the nuances that have grown to define the genre. The Stick of Truth contains, and laughs at, every bit of what a good RPG needs, but unleashes a steady flow of comic genius to draw in anyone who hasn’t played one before.
“Rules say you can have one potion every turn. I asked for five, this was the compromise.” -Cartman
So what “magical potion” should you use to guide you through your South Park journey? Port Brewing has the answer. Santa’s Little Helper Imperial Stout is the perfect winter warmer to carry you as you maneuver around South Park’s wintery landscape. Santa’s Little Helper is aged in bourbon barrels and has a strong bourbon aroma to open the senses for the delicious, chocolaty bourbon perfection to follow. The beer is exquisitely balanced and full of flavor. While the bourbon aftertaste is strong, it’s quite pleasant and has a slight burn, reminiscent of whiskey on the rocks. The bitter chocolate shines through, even providing a slightly sweet contrast to the bourbon bite. This barrel-aged imperial stout is smoky, thick, but not overly viscous.
“Did you know you can die from a titty twister?” -Butters
Santa’s Little Helper pairs perfectly with South Park as the game itself is pure comedy and only gets better as the 12% ABV starts to kick in. There’s no need to steal sips here, so the high ABV isn’t for fast game play, but since you’re essentially playing out a long episode of South Park, the fart jokes just get funnier as your glass gets lighter. The strong flavor will keep you sipping, not chugging, saving you trips to the fridge and allowing you more time to battle elves, Nazi zombies, aliens, gnomes, tweakers, dire bears, and homeless people; or to find Mr. Hankey’s children, help Randy Marsh avoid further probing from aliens, or even help Al Gore find Manbearpig.
“At first I didn’t want to join the KKK (Kingdom of Kupa Keep) at all, but the grand wizard made some really good points.” -Token
Drink up and button mash responsibly!