Apple’s Fountain of Youth Is a Pretty but Completely Hollow Treasure Hunt

There are a lot of very promising elements at work in Fountain of Youth, the new adventure film from director Guy Ritchie and writer James Vanderbilt. It’s got a quest for the mythical fountain at its core, an all-star cast primed with natural charisma, a proven action filmmaker at its helm, and the promise of globe-hopping, even swashbuckling, adventure baked into its plot.
There’s so much going for Fountain of Youth, in fact, that it takes a moment or two to notice that something’s not quite right here. The movie stars are present, the film looks slick and shiny, and the adventure doesn’t ever let up, but something about it ultimately rings hollow, and by the second hour, you’re left wondering what the point of all of this is, at least until the characters outright explain it to you without any real emotional payoff. By the end, all that promise is largely squandered, leaving us with all the ingredients of a fun movie, but little of the satisfaction of seeing one.
John Krasinski and Natalie Portman star as Luke and Charlotte Purdue, siblings and children of a famous treasure hunter who, after their father’s death, are estranged. Charlotte’s settled down for a quiet life as a museum curator in London, while Luke is still hopping around the globe, chasing down treasure and getting into trouble. When Luke suddenly pops back up in Charlotte’s life, mid-art heist, she wants nothing to do with him, at least until his antics cause her to lose her job. But it’s OK, because Luke has a plan, a team, and a financial benefactor (Domhnall Gleeson) in his corner.
See, Luke believes he’s finally on the trail of the fabled Fountain of Youth, but if he’s going to make it all the way to the end of that trail, he needs Charlotte’s help and expertise in unraveling the secrets hidden in a group of artworks that supposedly point the way. Charlotte reluctantly agrees, and the siblings set off on an adventure around the globe, with a mysterious and deadly woman (Eiza González) and an Interpol agent (Arian Moayed) on their tails.
Now, I’m not one to nitpick movies usually, because we’re all having fun playing pretend on the silver screen, but Fountain of Youth launches its quest for the title destination with what feels like a derailing bit of storytelling. Luke reveals that he’s found a long-lost painting that was stolen from Boston’s Gardner Museum in 1990, and then unveils … a painting that was not only never stolen, but is on display in a different American museum right now. Does this matter in terms of the plot? Not really, but it does blow up the idea that this is a treasure hunt rooted in art history when, you know, basic art history is neglected for no real reason (they could have just picked a different painting). It’s lazy and puzzling, and unfortunately it’s a bellwether for the rest of the narrative.