Cruz vs. Trump: Who’s Best for America?

Despite all of the rhetoric about Trump demolishing his opposition, the reality is that he has 460 delegates, while Ted Cruz has 370. The 90-delegate difference may seem stark, but the Republican nominee will need 1,237 delegates in order to snag the nomination. Cruz and Trump are truly neck-and-neck in this monumentally important race. Now seems like the perfect time to evaluate the policies of the never-elected real estate developer and the universally-loathed Tea Party senator to determine who would be best to run the most powerful nation in the world.

The Cruz America

In the eyes of Ted Cruz, a democratic United States is one in which, with the general reduction of the federal government, the public will be free to exercise their constitutional right to the pursuit of happiness. Except homosexuals—they won’t be allowed to marry. And women—their sexual health decisions must be approved by the Federal Government.

In Ted Cruz’s America, Obamacare will finally be repealed, the alternative to which Cruz will eventually, maybe, figure out. But the important—and wonderful—news is that the public will finally be free from cost-effective health care. And additionally, perhaps fantastically, in Ted Cruz’s America, religious rights are fiercely protected—even if they conflict with rule of law.

Ted Cruz vows to protect Christians that are being “marginalized and harassed for their beliefs.” But only Christians will be protected from harassment and marginalization. Muslims, of course, will not. In this case of religious liberty, Cruz believes that Attorney General Lynch’s pledge to intervene when anti-Muslim rhetoric and actions become violent is actually “muzzling” Americans’ free speech. Moreover, in a Cruz America, only Christian Syrian refugees will be granted asylum into the United States, contingent upon a religious test, so that Muslims will not be able to sneak through the border.

Most Popular

Cruz is, in fact, so fiercely dedicated to protecting US soil, that he plans to carpet bomb ISIS into oblivion. His ambition is clear, but not to the degree that it is blinding—he does acknowledge the limitations of his knowledge, admitting, “I don’t know if sand can glow in the dark, but we’re going to find out.” Cruz does not allow the fact that carpet bombing is classified as a war crime to stop him from engaging in this learning experience with the U.S. public.

If your ideal America is governed by a hypocritical, radically religious, trigger-happy, Canadian-born man, Cruz is the ideal president for you!

The Trump America

If you favor Cruz’s hypocrisy, but are somewhat hesitant on some of his other issues, Trump may very well be a viable candidate for you to consider! He has flip-flopped on almost every position he claims to hold strong opinions on, including abortion, guns, health care, and even Hillary Clinton.

Besides his unapologetic inconsistency, there are many other reasons for desiring a Trump presidency. Trump is, after all, a successful businessman. If you want him to run the United States like a business, he is the candidate for you. Of his 16 major businesses, he only ran nine of them into bankruptcy. If his odds hold, there’s a 43% chance the United States will be the “Trump Towers” of Donald Trump’s empire, as opposed to “Trump Steaks” or “Trump University.”

This is a chance that you might be willing to take, especially if you are sick of being covertly racist, and want to move into an area of overt discrimination and racial hatred. Whether he’s calling Mexican immigrants drug dealers and rapists or claiming American Muslims should wear holocaust-esque special “IDs”, Trump is definitely normalizing hateful rhetoric. This might be the opportunity that you’ve been waiting for, and if the Trump presidency becomes a reality, you can follow in his footsteps of mass deportations, but not have to feel concerned about deporting immigrants that are working for you, because Trump doesn’t plan to do so either. Beyond immigrants, if you are tired of refraining from insulting women, Trump is the man for you; with his long record of sexist comments, a Trump presidency would mean a reduction, or abolition of, “women’s rights”—you will finally have the opportunity to oppress at least half of the US population.

But, most importantly, if you want a leader that has never worked in politics but builds power through sexist and racist rhetoric, Trump is your man. And crucially, if you want a leader who is almost always wrong but kinda sounds right, vote Trump!

So, you’ve heard the case for each. Which of these two fantastic candidates do you hope to rule the most powerful nation in the world? The decision, America, is yours.