Back in April, Crazy Ex-Girlfriendâs season finale ended the same way it had begun: with Rebecca losing her grip on reality and also losing sight of all the important people right in front of her. Now that we officially have a premiere date for the highly-anticipated second season (October 21), it feels like the right time to celebrate the incredible music that made this show so great. Thereâs a great mix of styles among the 39 Crazy Ex-Girlfriend songs, ranging from rap to jazz, to pop and R&B. And lyrically, the songs on this list are better than much of what can be heard on the radio lately. Trust me when I say Iâll be blasting âI Give Good Parentâ next time Iâm off to a soiree with the in-laws. With so many different musical elements making up the soundtrack to this show, itâs difficult picking favorites; it all depends on whether you prefer Bloomâs mad rap skills, Champlinâs dazzling Broadway style or Fontanaâs take on nineties alt rock. Prep yourselves for Season Two, and join us as we celebrate the amazing tracks that made up the unforgettable first season.
39. âA Boy Band Made Up of Four Joshesâ (Vincent Rodriguez III)
The boy band made up of four Joshes was difficult to get throughâvisually and melodically. Lyrically however, it was nauseatingly cute, as Josh is addressing everything thatâs wrong with Rebecca and offering to fix it. But honestly, I doubt even four Joshes are man enough to put up with the emotional wreck that is Rebecca Bunch. Josh slipped into the boy band role so easily, honestly, it was a bit eerie.
38. âDear Joshua Felix Chanâ (Rachel Bloom)
Ahhh, young love! Doesnât this song just take you back to the days when you still hand wrote saccharine love letters? Back to the time when your heart was still intact and blissfully unaware of the many big-footed douchebags waiting to stomp all over it? Sixteen-year-old Rebeccaâs love letter to Joshua Felix Chan is sweetly hormonal and just a touch dramatic. In other words, not all that different from the carefully written notes I dropped into a couple of mailboxes when I was a kid.
37. âClean Up On Aisle Fourâ (Hunter Stebiel)
Lily & The Parlour Tricks already set us up for supermarket-romancing with their new single Broken Hearts/Bones earlier this year and, as a result, weâre starting to get into love stories that unfold in the frozen food section. Martyâs sweet serenade to Ally is completely delightful. Who knew garlic, pimento and olives could sound so lovely in verse?
36. âAngry Madâ (Vincent Rodriguez III)
Josh has never been good at expressing himself with words and he seems to have been stuck in a teenaged, skateboarding mindframe for a long time. As a result, hearing him release his frustrations in this Rocky-montage-meets-Footloose-garage scene with little more than the words âangryâ and âmadâ works beautifully. Add in a few grunts and aaarghs for good measure and thatâs about as much personality as youâll ever get from Joshie.
35. âOh My God I Think I Like Youâ (Rachel Bloom)
Oh, poor Rebecca! All that spanking and Gregâs wrecking her lady parts has given Rebecca the feels, and sheâs no longer sure if itâs just about sex⌠or oh, my god: does she like him? Plenty of us are routing for team #Grebeccaâthe two of them together make more sense than Josh and Rebecca ever will.
34. âWhere is the Rock?â (Jeff Hiller, Briga Heelan, Ester Dean, Ivan Hernandez)
I wish a hairband would show up to sing in my ear whenever I find myself in an embarrassing situation I canât talk myself out of. Granted, they didnât help Rebecca all that much, ultimately just confusing the many lies and voices in her head. But at least she didnât have to face that panicked oh-shit-Iâve-been-caught-out-AGAIN moment all on her own. Her facial expression in this scene is pricelessâitâs the way any proper nineties girl would react to a Motley Crue-looking eighties band these days.
33. âFeeling Kinda Naughtyâ (Rachel Bloom)
The title of this song is a bit misleading because as far as Iâm concerned, Rebecca wasnât feeling âkinda naughtyâ that night; more like âkinda, totally more damaged than usual.â And sure, that may sound a bit harsh; I guess there are many of us whoâve had that kind of girl crushâthe one where you canât really tell if you want to smooch your newfound BFF or if you really just want to take over her identity. âFeeling Kinda Naughtyâ isnât one of Bloomâs best songs, but it deserves a big thumbs up for one specific reason. What started out as a parody of Katy Perryâs âI Kissed a Girl,â actually translated into what Perryâs lyrics would have sounded like had they stemmed from an honest place.
32. âDream Ghostsâ (Michael Hyatt, Ricky Lake, Amber Riley)
Yeah, you read correctly: Ricky-freakinâ-Lake. Though, if you watched the series, you canât be that surprised. Dr. Phil made an appearance, so why not Ricki Lake as a dream ghost? The trio harmonize in aid of pointing troubled people like Rebecca (and the guy contemplating his divorce, and the girl considering an abortion) in the right direction by sneaking themselves into their dreams. âDream Ghostsâ has a sweet vibe obviously reminiscent of the Dreamgirlsâoh, and because theyâre all women, the job doesnât pay very well.
31. âCalifornia Christmastimeâ (Full Cast)
I guess Christmas songs have to be a bit tacky in terms of melody, but I would have much rather preferred a Sublime approach to this one. Still, the lyrics reflect that biting satire the show has become known for. They totally oversell the concept of a sunny Christmastime (Christmas without snow is bullshit), only to slowly destroy the joyous, seasonal spirit by making us think about real stuff, like cancer and the consumerist mentality behind the holiday. A nice touch is everyone collectively admitting, in a complete side note, to wanting to find themselves. Itâs another moment that normalizes all the âcrazyâ in everyoneâs thoughts.
30. âOne Indescribable Instantâ (Lea Salonga)
We all knew the team behind Crazy Ex-Girlfriend would pull out all stops for the season finale, but we didnât see Lea Salonga coming. Introduced as Joshâs Aunt Myrna, a one-time Star Search celebrity from the eighties who never quite got over her self-perceived stardom, Salonga took to the stage to sing about that One Indescribable Instantâthe very one Rebecca has been waiting for throughout the whole episode, if not the entire season. And in that âone indescribable, magical, mystical, endless, incredible, barely believable truly unlikely but not inconceivable, what are you kidding me, no itâs for-realable instant,â while Myrna sings her little heart out on stage, Rebecca finally gets what she (thinks) sheâs always wanted.
29. âWhat Iâll Beâ (Santino Fontana)
Fontanaâs voice mesmerized the hearts of many a little girl when he lent it to Frozenâs Prince Hans. Now, some three years later, Fontana is doing the very same for girls in their teens, ladies in their fifties and pretty much everyone in between. âWhat Iâll Be,â, the opening of which is reminiscent of Billy Joelâs âPiano Man,â is Gregâs first solo on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and it helps really bring shape to his character. Weâd already gotten to know the cynical, but secretly hopeful side of him, but this is the first time he really drops his guard since his disastrous date with Becca. In âWhat Iâll Be,â Greg shares with us his need to break free from West Covina and his life as a lime slicing, vodka pouring bartender.
28. âHaving a Few People Overâ (Pete Gardner)
Daryl is discovering a whole new world and is open to all types of new experiences, including âHaving a Few People Overâ and impressing them with a wide selection of fromage and cruditĂŠs. This is another great tribute to Darylâs general excitement and his efforts to find his place in the world. This song is the drug you need to muster up the energy to clean your house in under two minutes, AKA just before your guests arrive.
27. âWest Covinaâ (Rachel Bloom)
This was the very first song on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and therefore, also the moment when most of us awkwardly scratched our heads and stifled a laugh, while wondering, âWhat the hell am I watching right now?â Itâs such a Disney moment, complete with cheesy dance routines and pretty dresses, some may have had a hard time fully immersing themselves in it, for fear of actually liking something seemingly kitschy. But if you can move past that and actually start listening to the lyrics, youâll notice that this particular New York princess seems to have barely escaped the padded walls of an asylum, hence her need to escape to West Covina. But just to be clear: itâs not because Josh lives there, she just needed a change⌠âcause to move there for Josh, now thatâd be strange, right?
26. âI Have Friendsâ (Rachel Bloom and Ava Acres)
If youâve ever gone through a loner spell during high school, or faced a big transitional period in your life, you may relate to âI Have Friends.â Itâs basically the song you sing to yourself when youâre trying to convince yourself youâve got lots of friends⌠when in actuality, you donât. Or do you? Think of it this way: Rebecca (sarcastically) mentions several friends, Paula and Daryl included. And while they may not be âcool,â they have her back no matter what, whereas the âin-crowdâ (Josh, Valencia, etc.) fail to see the loneliness Rebecca is hiding deep inside. So next time youâre moping about and pulling a Bridget Jones, take a good look around: you definitely, objectively have all the friends.
25. âTextmergencyâ (Jeff Hiller, Briga Heelan, Ester Dean, Ivan Hernandez)
Wouldnât it be amazing if everyone understood the gravity of a textmergency? Or worse yetâa messagepocalpyse! Fortunately, Rebecca Bunch seems to be surrounded by fellow lawyers and clients who have had their fair share of textmergencies and donât hold it against her when she dashes out of the office in an attempt to save herself from complete and utter humiliation⌠Well. Kind of. Either way, this snazzy formation has definitely coined a term that will follow us into the next decade.
24. âI Love My Daughter (But Not In a Creepy Way)â (Pete Gardner)
Poor Daryl, heâs just got so much going on, but heâs crap at expressing the many things that go through his confused mind. He still hasnât found his way in life and transmits such excited curiosity, itâs hard to take him seriously at times. But it is this gentle and child-like spirit of enquiry, this unconditional and totally NOT creepy love that ultimately saves him from looking/sounding like a dodgy guy. Daryl is sincere and he really does love his daughter (in a normal way). And if you look passed the Freudian horses in the video, youâll believe that too.
23. âIâm So Good at Yogaâ (Gabrielle Ruiz)
This song works on so many levels. Not only is does this express relatable sentiments for the perpetually insecure, it also plays on the fact that many a yoga teacher these days acts like a self-professed guru, if not an object of idolization. Had the song been performed by anyone other than Valencia, it wouldnât have had the same impact. But Valencia relishes in her yoga âfan baseâ and the fact she can kiss her own hoo-ha, so the song really isnât all that far-fetched. Inhaling her own arrogance and exhaling on a âRebecca sucks,â Valencia does not shy away from winding down her vicious Vinyasa flow to a chorus of childish nyah, nyah, nyahs.
22. âSex with a Strangerâ (Rachel Bloom)
There arenât many women who can pull off a skin-tight animal print bodysuit, but two immediately come to mind: Ciara and Rebecca Bunch. Ciara definitely has the grace and fierce sexuality that shines in this suit and its wild patterns, but Rebecca is in a league of her own. Itâs hard to be goofy and sexy at the same time, but thatâs precisely what she pulls off here. Lyrically, the song isnât as strong as its conceptâwhich exaggerates the drama of an impromptu hookup, from the initial, horny confidence, to panic, to the biggest dread of all: the sweaty balls.
21. âPut Yourself Firstâ (Marisa Davila, Jazz Raycole, Lulu Antariksa)
A group of teenaged girls urging you to âput yourself first for himâ perfectly represents everything thatâs wrong with this world. Another hilarious parody, this time of Fifth Harmonyâs âWorth It,â âPut Yourself Firstâ is as funny as it is tragic. Initially, these girls seem to send a positive message of empowerment, motivating ladies to pierce their ears, push up their boobs and wear six inch heels âjust for yourself,â but it quickly becomes clear that the only reason they are torturing their bodies is to look hot enough for a guy to like, totally, want to make out with them.
20. âGroup Hangâ (Rachel Bloom, David Hull, Erick Lopez, Devere Rogers, Harvey Guillen)
The dreaded group hang includes salsa, burritos, taquitos, guacamole and pizza, and all the perfect ingredients for a Shakira parody! I mean, those are all Columbian foods right? Once again, Rebecca Bunch sings from the deluded heart of a desperate woman when her long-awaited date with Josh turns into a group hang. Beneath all that obsessing about Josh being out of reach, itâs nice to see that Rebeccaâs intelligence still manages to trump her shallow ways, as she makes time to address the bastardization of the Mexican culture.
19. âAfter Everything I Have Done For Youâ (Donna Lynne Champlin)
This is Paulaâs moment of crazy, and she performs it in true Broadway style. Obviously confused by her maternal feelings for Rebecca and her insatiable craving for her own romantic reality show, Paula has finally lost her shit over the Grebecca affair. Her opening will immediately make you flashback to all the times your mother has listed the many things she sacrificed. Sheâs intimidating and like every friendly mother and mothering friend, sheâs got chutzpah.
18. âWomen Gotta Stick Togetherâ (Gabrielle Ruiz)
The competition between so-called âsistersâ can be a cruel sport if youâre into playing that kind of game. Valencia is the star player in the West Covinaâs women-to-envy-competition and although her character is easy to hate, itâs also easy to see where that shallow wall sheâs built around herself comes from. She appears to have been stung in many a crazy girl rivalry, and has now taken to mistrusting women in general. Sheâs not subtle about it either; her wariness of other women has turned her into an ice queen who turns to sheer bullying tactics in an attempt to keep needy, backstabbing chicks at bay. âWomen Gotta Stick Togetherâ is spot on in its portrayal of the complexity of the female relationship and what constitutes a sisterhood these days.
17. âIâm A Good Personâ (Rachel Bloom)
âIntegrity is doing the right thing, even if nobody is watching.â So much for Rebeccaâs integrity. It takes some harsh but deserved criticism from Greg to get her to want to do right by others, but her heart isnât in it at all at first. Sheâs too busy making sure her good deeds are witnessed by others, Greg in particular. Surely not the most attractive quality in a person, but now that we know what Rebecca is all about, we canât hold it against her at all. In this song she continues to do what sheâs been doing all along: looking for validation and love. But at least she does so with a whole lot of punky attitude: âIâm a good person, get it? FUCK YOU!â
16. âHis Status is Preferredâ (Donna Lynne Champlin)
âHis Status is Preferredâ is the female equivalent to Hugh Laurieâs âSophisticated Song.â This song is a shining example of Bloomâs witty, imaginative writing skills and Champlinâs captivating voice and stage presence. Paula expresses her fascination for Calvin Young (Cedric Yarbrough) with such savoir faire, itâs impossible not to feel her deep longing for romance. Sheâs not really interested in an affair with Calvin. Heâs not just a piece of meat, heâs filet mignon and thatâs what has excited her hungry palate. All she wants is to experience something out of the ordinary; to taste French cheeses and lay on four hundred threat count sheets. Sheâs not in love with Calvin, sheâs in love with his lifestyle.
15. âSettle for Meâ (Rachel Bloom, Santino Fontana, Vella Lovell)
This song will make you laugh and itâll really make you want Greg to win Rebeccaâs heart. âSettle For Meâ is endearing, albeit in sarcastic, in-your-face Greg style. He knows sheâs all hung up on Chan and that sheâs got a lot of crap to figure out, but he is so convinced of their connection, heâs happy to be her second choice. Deep down, he really does believe that their coming together this way is fate. Theyâve got a great Freddy and Ginger routine going, and connect in a way Rebecca and Josh just⌠donât. Greg, you had me routing for a settlement from the get-go.
In a âSettle For Meâ reprise, we totally get Gregâs surprise when Heatherâof all peopleâbursts into song. It may have been a brief moment, but weâre happy to settle for just about anything when we get to see more of Vella Lovell.
14. âCold Showersâ (Rachel Bloom, Pete Gardner, Donna Lynne Champlin)
As May Saunders said in her review of âJosh and I Work on a Case,â âthere is only one woman making television who loves The Music Man enough to make a musical number modeled after âYa got Troubleâ and her name is Rachel Bloom.â The Crazy Ex-Girlfriendâs parody of Robert Prestonâs Professor Hill spreading mass hysteria over a pool table is unerring. The implications of Rebeccaâs concern however, could be a lot more dangerous than the birth of a pool-playing subculture: Rebecca is fighting the evils of cold water, the use of which, as we all know, can lead to cocaine.
13. âHeavy Boobsâ (Rachel Bloom)
I caught a little spoiler of this clip before the episode aired and, after seeing Rachel make them bags of yellow fat bounce like nobodyâs business, I couldnât wait to hear what she had to say/rap/sing about the Heavy Boobs issue. Unfortunately, the videoâscrap that, the dance!âwas better than the actual song. Sure, certain dresses and tops tend to look tacky on big-busted women and yes, big boobies can definitely hold a few pencils and maybe even a stapler. But is that all there is really to having heavy boobs? I could think of a whole list of other disadvantages to having a big rackâback pain, under-boob-sweat, badly fitting bras, etc. Lyrically, the song could have been a bit more fleshed out, but Iâll admit Rebecca more than made up for it with her boob-slap.
12. âGetting Biâ (Pete Gardner)
Darylâs ode to getting bi was a thing of real beauty. His entire storyline has been top notch: an insecure, middle-aged man who suddenly discovers his true sexuality and decides to out himself to the entire office with a little song and dance, aided by a band of polo-shirt-wearing preppy boys? wWhatâs not to love? Crazy Ex-Girlfriend pulled off the unexpected by matching up two unlikely candidates and making the situation happen without any exaggerated drama. Darylâs as surprised by the whole bi situation as we are, but heâs dealing with it in a marvelous way, by just rolling with itâcause biâs legit!
11. âFlooded With Justiceâ (Plaintiffs)
Admit itâyou couldnât get through âFlooded With Justiceâ without letting a little tear of joyful relief slip down your face. This is a tribute to Rebecca and her âleaky sink of changeâ it is the drip, drip, drip that only she can fix. Performed to a surprisingly chilling parody of Les Miserablesâ âDo You Hear the People Sing,â this song delivers a strong message from our hero. Rebecca realizes that, while her move to California may have been rash and based on the wrong motives, she made a good decision in leaving her former firm in pursuit of happiness.
10. âFace Your Fearsâ (Donna Lynne Champlin)
As detached as she may be from a reality without a happy end for Josh and Becca, Paula continues to be a [somewhat misguided] rock in her cookieâs life. She offers Rebecca the nurturing arms she clearly missed from her own mother, and tries her best to pick her up whenever sheâs down. Sheâs also really good at motivational speeches, but none quite compare to her musical rendition of a âFace Your Fearsâ talk. This was Champlinâs first solo on the show and it was awesome. Her heart-felt urgings of âdonât wipe front to backâ and âswim right after eatingâ brilliantly reflect Paulaâs warped idea of support and hunger for sensation. With great exaggeration, chin quivering and lip twitching, Paula turns her advice into a big production, convincing herself of her own advice, better than she does Rebecca.
9. âSexy French Depressionâ (Rachel Bloom)
Thereâs nothing sexy about depression; according to Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, your bed âsmells like a tamponâ and all you can do is think about thinking about thinking of fixing all the things youâve ever done wrong. But apparently, if you slip into the role of a chain-smoking Parisian, dressed all in black and clad with Jackie Kennedy style sunglasses, you can achieve what Rebecca refers to as the sex-e frainche daypreshion. This may be a comical series, but it touches upon serious issues like depression and in its own absurd way, attempts to rid them of their stigmas.
8. âThe Villain In My Own Storyâ (Rachel Bloom)
In this song Rebecca comes to another important realization: this whole time sheâs been making herself out to be Aladdinâs Jasmine, when in reality sheâs Jafar. It may not be a proud moment for Rebecca Bunch, but itâs definitely another song for Rachel Bloom and co-writer Adam Schlesinger to celebrate. The music is Disney-sinister and Rebeccaâs running commentary just proves how uncomfortable she is in acknowledging that she has become the wicked witch, when sheâs been convincing herself that sheâs the hero all this time. It almost goes hand in hand with âYou Stupid Bitchâ in that itâs self-deprecating but, at last, honest.
7. âI Gave You A UTIâ (Santino Fontana)
What makes this song incredibly funny is that it perfectly depicts a macho male attitude. Gregâs penis swells with pride after learning Rebecca has contracted a UTI following several nights of hot passion. You see, in Gregâs mind, Rebecca experiencing pain or discomfort after sex immediately translates to him being so good at sex âher maiden ship got wrecked.â Greg delivers the song with such pleasure and confidence, Iâm sure even Rebecca felt like patting him on the head with a âwell doneâ after his stunning, totally misinformed performance.
6. âI Give Good Parentâ (Rachel Bloom and Amy Hill)
It takes some skill to âgive good parent,â but apparently Miss Bunch has it down. With Paula having manipulated Becca into the Chanâs gathering for Thanksgiving, she can now exploit every opportunity to get the âCham fam damp in their underpants.â This was Rachelâs first rap track on the show and she killed it. Mama Chanâs gold-toothed chorus and Joshâs sisters shaking their politely smart booties in the background perfectly contradict the neatly dressed and overly courteous reality of the situation. One thing is clearâRebecca Bunch will suck up and kiss ass until she has them eatinâ outta her hand.
5. âSexy Getting Ready Songâ (Rachel Bloom)
On a good day, getting ready for a hot date might have you feeling like the protagonist in your very own music video; youâll flirt with our own reflection, bust out a few sexy moves in a hip-hugging dresses and walk out the door ready to make magic happen. But for the most part, women can end up feeling like guinea pigs in a science lab, with all the poking and prodding that has to go down, just to get hair and makeup on point. The âSexy Getting Ready Songâ exemplifies the Ăźber-confident highs and self-mutilating lows of a womanâs pre-date routine and underlines the pressure we all feel to exit our transformation quarters like the embodiment of the âperfectâ female specimen.
4. âWhereâs The Bathroom?â (Tovah Feldshuh)
I donât know anyone who canât relate to âWhereâs the Bathroomâ in at least one way or another. The Dutch have an idiom for the Naomi Bunch style entrance: âFalling into the house with the door,â which basically translates into totally overwhelming someone without warning, i.e. starting to rant before even having stepped foot in the door. No one does this better than a mother on a mission to question everything wrong in her daughterâs life, and no one could have portrayed such ambitious maternal anxiety better than Tovah Feldshush. I was stressed before she even got to her first insult soâjob well done!
3. âYou Stupid Bitchâ (Rachel Bloom)
Be honestâhow many times have you sung a rendition of this song to your mirrorâs reflection? Me too, and thatâs exactly why this song rocks hard. The lyrics are sad, but for many of us, they ring (or have rung) so very, very true. After yet another colossal slip-up, Rebecca lets it all out in a song of self-indulgent self-loathing, in which she repeatedly beats herself up for being a stupid, stupid, bitch whoâs really gone and done it this time.
2. âI Could If I Wanted Toâ (Santino Fontana)
This song sums up Greg in a nutshell; in other words, itâs the dogâs bullocks. âI Could If I Wanted Toâ could have easily turned into an alt radio favorite. Had it been recorded in the nineties which it wasnât. But it could have been! The song totally mirrors Gregâs angst and a prevailing inner conflict. On one hand, Greg is trying to break away from a path already set out for him; on the other, he feels the need to prove that he can achieve every milestone expected of him. Behind his cockiness in saying he could actually achieve whatever he wanted to, if he wanted to, he is admitting that he doesnât really know what it is he wants.
1. âJAP Battleâ (Rebecca Bloom and Rachel Grate)
You guessed it, the JAP Battle, as in a rap battle between two Jewish American Princesses, represents the height of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend musical genius. Jam-packed with references thatâll have the coolest of the goys break into a schwitz, this track would make many an ambitious, Jewish mother proud. These Scarsdale alpha bitches fight it out in a manner that can only be described as intellectual territorial pissingâsomeoneâs going to have to walk out feeling the smartest, even if they both be âtripping like birthright.â The lyrics tackle various socio-political issues with the finesse of a âverbal curb stomper,â so kindly âsheket bevaka the hell up,â kick back and listen to this unforgettable track.
Roxanne Sancto is a freelance journalist for Paste and The New Heroes & Pioneers. Sheâs the author of The Tuesday Series & co-author of The Pink Boots. She can usually be found covered in paint stains.