Reality AF: Married at First Sight’s Denver Season Proves Its Matchmaking Process Is Broken, Here’s How to Fix It

Debuting in 2004, Married at First Sight (or MAFS, as fans often call it) used to be fun to watch. Its premise—couples paired by relationship experts who are literally married when they first meet—is a fascinating one. Watching people who make sense on paper struggle romantically is titillating relationship voyeurism. 

While the series has never had a high success rate (of 64 couples in 16 seasons, only 11 remain married, or 17%) the show has always been more about the journey than the destination. However, since Season 13, couples would have had more luck being randomly selected with names drawn from a hat than by relationship gurus Dr. Pepper, Pastor Cal, or whatever random third guest expert joins the cast. Of the 20 couples from Seasons 13-16, only one is currently married—a 5% success rate.

Season 17, the current season set in Denver, has been a hot mess. A little more than halfway through the process, two couples have already quit (Lauren/Orion and Clare/Cameron), another is doomed to fail (Emily/Brennan), one person (Michael) was dumped at the altar only to be asked to marry a second stringer (Chloe), and the one couple people are still rooting for could be on thin ice if they don’t resolve their intimacy issues (Becca/Austin). The Married at First Sight formula feels broken.  

However, there is still hope. The MAFS relationship experiment can be saved, but only through changes in the matchmaking process. As an aficionado of relationship reality shows, here are the five steps I’d recommend:

Trade the honeymoon for a couples retreat

As George Washington says in the musical Hamilton, “Divorce is easy, marriage is harder.” Okay, so I’m liberally paraphrasing, but the intent is the same. It’s much too easy to quit on this show. The smallest slight can lead to divorce, so producers need to be proactive instead of reactive. Couples should be working on creating a successful marriage from Day 1, and to do so, they need immediate guidance. A couples retreat in lieu of a honeymoon can still be in a tropical location (viewers love beautiful scenery too), but in order to help strangers succeed, they should be provided with tools right away. 

Fun activities could be interspersed with lessons and sessions that help build positive relationships off the euphoria that comes from marrying someone you just met. Instead of a honeymoon, which seems to be a place where many MAFS relationships stall, a couples retreat would be much more interesting than watching yet another horseback riding or ziplining excursion. It would also be useful for the newlyweds. Mandatory weekly counseling sessions when couples come home could help with the transition into married life.

Bring in former couples as experts

Despite a high divorce rate, there have been some MAFS successes. It’s high time to put them to good use. I would still keep Dr. Pepper and Pastor Cal, they are entertaining relationship experts after all. But sometimes a person needs advice from someone who’s gone through a similar process. Chris and Nicole from Season 16 and Amani and Woody from Season 12 would be great additions to the cast. They’re good people who make for engaging TV and could also provide genuine insight into the process. 

Steal—Borrow from Love is Blind

Participants treat Married at First Sight like a job interview. They put their best foot forward and say all the right things in front of the experts. Then they get married, drop their guard, and turn into unrecognizable asses. To avoid this problem, Married at First Sight should have prospective matches talk to each other before the wedding day without being able to see one another, a la Love is Blind. 

Experts, who would still handle final matchmaking decisions, would get a feel for a prospective couples chemistry. If the conversation flows, there’s at least some potential. If not, they look at other applicants for a match. Maybe something like the dreadful Denver pairing of Clare (oil) and Cameron (water) could have been avoided. 

Make friends and family a part of the selection process

Even the most milquetoast MAFS couple can still be entertaining with just a little dash of a disapproving friend or relative thrown into the mix. During the Denver season, we’ve seen Brennan get roasted (deservedly so) by Emily’s friends and watched an uncomfortable dinner where Austin’s mom was incredulous at her son’s decision to get married at first sight. 

While Becca eventually won Austin’s mother over, we not only need more of these moments, but need family and friends brought into the selection process. They know participants better than anyone and could cut through the facade the relationship experts have to deal with. Everyone thinks they know what kind of person they should be in a relationship with. They’ve idealized it in their minds. But friends and family can usually look at people they love without rose colored glasses, which would be a benefit during the selection process. It may also add a layer of comedy. 

No participants under the age of 30 with no more than 4 year age gap

I know what you’re thinking, “All because someone is a certain age doesn’t mean they’re mature.” And you’re right. There are plenty of mature 20-somethings and immature people decades older. That said, people 30 and up tend to have more dating experience, and that can make a difference. When you’re a dating veteran, you know what you want and what you don’t. More importantly, you also know what you’ll compromise on and what you won’t. 

For good measure, none of the couples should be more than 4 years apart, either. Too much of an age variance and you end up with a couple like Nashville’s Mac (33) and Domynique (25), who had little in common. To be fair, in a relationship age is just a number. However, of the 11 couples that are still married from this series’ 10-year run, their average age was 30.5 years-old during filming, and all of the pairs are no more than four years apart. 

Looks like there still might be hope for the Denver couples of Becca (31) and Austin (32), and Michael (38) and Chloe (39) after all.  

Terry Terrones is a Television Critics Association and Critics Choice Association member, licensed drone pilot, and aspiring hand model. When he’s not solving the problems on reality TV relationship shows, you can find him hiking in the mountains of Colorado. You can follow him on Twitter @terryterrones.

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