Steven Universe Discovers a Civilization Ready to Fall in “Gem Heist”

Even as its lore has expanded and Steven Universe has smoothly transitioned from a goofy monster-of-the-week cartoon into a rich, mature, tragicomic space opera, the series has remained firmly rooted on Earth. All we know about Gem culture and Homeworld has come courtesy of incidental contact, and though some new characters have illuminated important facets of life under the Diamond Authority, Earth has always retained the home-field advantage—that is, it’s hard to conceive of Pearl, Amethyst and Garnet (DeeDee Magno Hall, Michaela Dietz and Estelle, respectively) conforming to their species’ civilization. And because of Steven’s (Zach Callison) notoriously uninquisitive nature, we haven’t had much direct explanation of what Homeworld was like. We still don’t even know precisely why or how Pearl defected to the Crystal Gems.

“Gem Heist” doesn’t provide too many answers; there’s only so much culture one can develop on a small, forlorn outpost mostly populated by Earth-born Gems. But all the same, this episode serves as a witty primer for a society with all the flexibility of a sun-baked piece of driftwood, courtesy of the show’s most perplexing character to date.

Holly Blue Agate Shows That Gem Society Is Crumbling

The episode makes a relatively large deal of introducing the zoo’s warden: a shot of her prim but cruel white boots; a sharp light glistening off her pristine gem; a blue diamond proudly thrust forward on her chest. Only then do we encounter the stern visage of Holly Blue Agate (Christine Pedi). Immediately, it’s obvious that this Gem’s life is ruled by order. So, almost as immediately, it’s obvious that she will kowtow to Sapphire (Erica Luttrell), who is goddamn royalty. Perhaps this devotion to hierarchy helps to explain how utterly stupid HBA turns out to be.

A royal Gem appears entirely without warning, accompanied by a non-regulation Pearl and a specimen from the most infamous of all Gem colonies, and Holly Blue doesn’t ask any questions or appear suspicious at all? Given the militarism of Gem society, one would think that HBA should have been trained in security protocol, that she should have double-checked Sapphire’s arrival on a master log as would happen in literally any other fictional battle station. A minimally competent warden should have smelled a rat from the start, and then the mission would have been doomed. By all rights, it should have been. None of the Crystal Gems has been around their Homeworld-based sistren for more than five millennia, and they didn’t think to bring Peridot, whose intelligence and knowledge of modern Gem technology and customs likely would have proved an enormous help. Instead, though, Holly Blue fawns over Sapphire—beg your pardon, “her Clarity”—and, flattered by her mere presence, leads the intruders directly to the service door that will inevitably provide Greg’s escape route.

Part of me is bothered by the fact that Rebecca Sugar and company would create such an incredibly dumb adversary. Certain aspects of Steven Universe touch on the absurd—for example, the legendary baseball game between the Crystal Gems and five brutally dull Rubies—but a major reason this show has transcended children’s television is the genuine emotional and physical peril its protagonists regularly face. A character with Holly Blue Agate’s combination of supposed power and total ineptitude would feel more at home in A Series of Unfortunate Events’ confederacy of dunces. It’s also telling that “Gem Heist” was the first time I couldn’t mentally square the way SU treats its language barrier; Steven has been able to communicate verbally with every Gem thus far, but for some reason, Holly Blue can’t seem to understand him. It’s the strangest of the episode’s inconsistencies, to be sure, but upon further examination, everything shocking about HBA has to have been done purposefully. Right?

Here’s what I’ve deduced, if we’re ruling out a surprising lack of attention to detail on the story team’s part: Holly Blue is a litmus test for the state of Gem society, and things do not look good. From what we can tell, the civilization’s culture, customs and social order have not changed one bit since the Rebellion. For an earthly analogy, imagine if the Egypt were still ruled by the Old Kingdom dynasty of pharaohs, the ones who built the pyramids, and the Egyptian people still unquestioningly worshipped them as god-kings. That is clearly not the case, because every single civilization or empire in this planet’s recorded history (except our current one) has come with an expiration date, most often occurring when internal and external forces combine to topple a bloated, corrupt regime. The succession of Chinese dynasties justified this process as the “mandate of heaven,” and John Locke offered Western peoples the invitation to replace their rulers should his social contract be violated. Rome fell prey to civil strife and then the Germanic tribes; the Inca Empire failed to unite against Francisco Pizarro and his 150 (!) soldiers.