Puppy Love Review: Rom-Com Has No Bite

Do you ever feel like the entertainment industry might be punking you?

I felt that way recently when I received an email about the first season of The Lincoln Lawyer coming out on DVD. Let me see if I’m following this correctly: The Lincoln Lawyer, which streams on Netflix, a platform that almost single-handedly made DVD rentals and ownership a relic of the past, has its shows being released on DVD? Is there a hidden camera somewhere watching me read this press release?

That’s kind of how I felt watching Puppy Love, the Amazon Freevee movie starring Lucy Hale and Grant Gustin. The romantic comedy is based on a series of BuzzFeed videos entitled “Puppyhood” (Puppy Love is the fourth movie Lionsgate has produced with BuzzFeed). While adorable and maybe a little emotionally manipulative, these videos also served as a nice ad for Purina Puppy Chow. I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised by all the product placement (Smartfood, Cabot cheese) that popped up in the movie. But, wait, we’re making a movie based on commercials, produced by a platform known for its listicles and quizzes?

Nicole (Hale) is a disorganized millennial who, after the death of her father, forgoes going to art school to become a property stager for a high-end real estate agent. We know her life is chaos because she oversleeps, puts on a stained shirt to wear to work and has a messy car. Max (Gustin) is a socially anxious, germophobic computer programmer. We know this because he doesn’t want to roll down his window at the drive thru and can’t bring himself to actually go into his office.

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Nicole and Max meet on Bumble and decide to go to the park with their respective dogs, Channing Tatum and Chloe. One thing leads to another and Chloe is pregnant. Of course, Nicole and Max don’t get along. And of course, their dogs bring them together. The script has an easy-to-follow, fill-in-the-blanks format. (Of note: The movie’s official credits list five different writers.)

Make no mistake: Puppy Love is a bad movie. This isn’t an exact precise calculation, but it certainly seems like at least 30% of the 106-minute movie are montages. (Although, shout-out to some solid music choices, like the cover of “It Must Have Been Love.”) The characters behave in ways that defy logic. Max is smart enough to be a computer programmer yet thinks he can go to the pharmacy and get his dog a plan B pill? Supporting parts, like an overly enthusiastic dog Lamaze teacher (Rachel Risen), condescending therapist (Nimet Kanji) and a chatty veterinarian (Michael Hitchcock) are way too over the top. And parts like Nicole’s mom, played by Jane Seymour, are desperately underwritten. Why have Dr. Quinn herself in your movie if you aren’t going to use her? I have to believe there are additional Seymour scenes somewhere. Perhaps they’ll show up on the inevitable DVD extras of this straight-to-streaming movie.

But the thing is, Puppy Love had so much potential to be good. Gustin and Hale have great, charming chemistry. The two TV stars (Hale spent seven seasons on Pretty Little Liars and Gustin just ended a nine-season run as The Flash). They both do so much with the limited material they are given. The characters’ vulnerability is palpable and the scenes between the two are so heartfelt that you get a glimpse of the movie that might have been.

There’s a long tradition of putting beloved TV stars together in made-for-TV movies. Puppy Love reminded me of the ABC Family movies of the early 2000s, which deployed popular TV stars in enjoyable romantic comedies like 2004’s I Want to Marry Ryan Banks, which starred Jason Priestley, Emma Caulfield and Bradley Cooper (!!) or 2003’s See Jane Date, which starred Holly Marie Combs and Charisma Carpenter. Perhaps naively, I was excited to see Amazon Freevee following in this grand tradition. I just wish the end result was so much better. Alas, in the end, the best part of Puppy Love may be its double entendre marketing tagline: “One bone can change everything.” Kudos to the writers who came up with that line.

Director: Richard Alan Reid, Nicholas Fabiano
Writers: Greg Glienna, Peter Stass, Kirsten Guenther, Dan Scheinkman, Richard Alan Reid
Starring: Lucy Hale, Grant Gustin, Jane Seymour, Michael Hitchcock, Nore Davis
Release Date: August 18, 2023 (Freevee)

Amy Amatangelo, the TV Gal®, is a Boston-based freelance writer and a member of the Television Critics Association. She wasn’t allowed to watch much TV as a child and now her parents have to live with this as her career. You can follow her on Twitter (@AmyTVGal).

Puppy Love Has No Bite