It’s that time again, where we join in the #banter—some of us through gritted teeth—involving helicopters and fax machines, Jim White talking and grown men walking past on-the-scene reporters, dildos in hand.
Yes, it’s Transfer Deadline Day.
Of course no TDD would be complete without constant reminders from assorted old fogeys that Deadline Day no longer sparks the same excitement it once did. This is true, but for good reason—teams today generally have their shit together, and now know that it’s generally not to fill a freight train full of money and send it crashing into the side of a mountain simply because they’ve left their homework to the very last minute.
But there is much, much more wrong with this annual event, enough to fill a soccer website listicle. And so here’s why the Transfer Deadline Day is, well, a bit meh:
1. People Claiming to Know Things They Do Not, In Fact, Know
And no, I’m not just talking about those garbage, anonymous Soccer ITK Twitter accounts whose voluminous follower counts serve only to prove PT Barnum’s edict about suckers being born every minute. This also goes for those self-described football experts who, without citation, claim to know the rhyme and reason for each and every last minute individual transfer, in addition to the likelihood it will work out and that the transfer fee is either exorbitantly high or mind-boggling under-valued. These are legion on social media today. Consider logging off to avoid.
2. Jokes About Helicopters and Fax Machines
Hey guys, did you know that some club owners and players travel around in helicopters to sign contracts and hammer out last minute deals on Deadline Day? And do you know that some clubs send over paperwork by fax machine on Deadline Day too? This is all hilarious for some reason.
3. Most of the Biggest and Most Important Transfers Have Already Happened
