It Still Stings: Before Its Untimely Ending, Showtime’s Kidding Taught Us How to Feel

Editor’s Note: TV moves on, but we haven’t. In our feature series It Still Stings, we relive emotional TV moments that we just can’t get over. You know the ones, where months, years, or even decades later, it still provokes a reaction? We’re here for you. We rant because we love. Or, once loved. And obviously, when discussing finales in particular, there will be spoilers:

Sometimes a new film or series will be released and, on paper, everything is perfect. A highly-respected star is there to headline the project. Master writers and world-builders are eager and ready to tell a compelling story. A first-rate supporting cast is assembled. That was the case for Showtime’s off-beat comedy series Kidding. 

When the series was officially canceled in July 2020, a quiet cry could be heard from the admittedly small but fierce fanbase for the show. In just twenty episodes, viewers were taken through the ringer that is Pickle Barrel Falls and sent over the cliff, questioning the way that we think about death, life, and what it looks like to engage with our feelings in a healthy and productive manner. 

Showtime’s Kidding, premiering in 2018, was the highly-anticipated reunion of comedian Jim Carrey and director Michel Gondry. For the first time since Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, these two creatives would collaborate on a project—it was marketed as a monumental event, a bridging of two brilliant minds in entertainment. Additionally, this was one of Jim Carrey’s first major roles after a brief hiatus and his first time returning to television as a series regular since In Living Color in the 1990s. Carrey was heavily involved with the development of the show, serving as executive producer with Dave Holstein, a writer on Weeds, serving as the showrunner. Needless to say, the production was rife with talent and brimming with potential. 

The premise of the show explores what happens when a Mr. Rogers-like figure has a midlife crisis or, to be more specific, has to face the death of his young son. Carrey plays Jeff Piccirillo (known as Mr. Pickles to his audience), as he navigates this new reality that has also led to the separation from his wife (played by the wonderful Judy Greer). Alternating between the real world and that of Pickle Barrel Falls (the world of his in-universe TV show), Kidding runs in wonderfully strange directions, simultaneously exploring the deep trauma and resentment that might come with the monumental job of teaching children around the world.

Over the years, many comics have taken roles which required a certain departure from their usual “shtick.” Carrey has done that before, and he does it again here with a humanity that makes what could venture into caricature the complete opposite. Only a seasoned actor with decades of experience is able to bring this kind of gravitas and believability to a role. With a sad smile or a condemnatory frown, Carrey allows us to immediately understand what Jeff is feeling, sometimes without saying anything at all. This is only bolstered by the show-within-a-show format, which allows us to see Jeff Pickles as a three-dimensional person both on and off the screen. This balance between humanity and “a show” is primarily what makes Kidding an engaging and thoughtful experience. 

From the premiere episode, Kidding dives in head first with his identity struggle, with viewers witnessing the contrast between the public persona of Mr. Pickles and the private man underneath. The opening sees Jeff Pickles as a guest on Late Night with Conan O’Brien (with Conan playing himself). The first lines spoken are a reminder to Conan from his assistant to refrain from discussing the death of Jeff’s son, an off-limits topic thanks to Jeff’s producer father Seb (Frank Langella) policing his every move. 

As Jeff brings out his ukulele puppet (named Uke-Larry), Conan’s audience joins in to sing the familiar tune, “You can feel anything at all. Anything at all, you can feel it.” Though Jeff sings these words, he doesn’t know what to do with his negative emotions. Growing up with an emotionally abusive father and absentee mother has prevented him from dealing with feelings in a healthy way. He bottles them up, occasionally letting them rise to the surface to perform extreme behaviors such as shaving his head or running over people with cars.

Kidding argues for the importance of being hopeful amidst the chaos and calamity of the world. Yet, it also highlights the consequences that having raw, unadulterated hope can bring. Mr. Pickles is the embodiment of this, hiding other emotions behind the puppets created for the show by his sister Deirdre (Catherine Keener), despite his desire for authenticity.

The puppets themselves were created and puppeteered by professionals whose work also includes Sesame Street and other projects from The Jim Henson Company. To be clear, this is no parody; these puppets are not merely meant to make us laugh. Instead, they are meant to make us think and feel. Take Ennui Le Triste, the French baguette. Of all the puppets created for the show, Ennui is one of the most significant. A personification of this complex emotion, Ennui represents the part of Jeff that is afraid of change and the unknown. 

This is demonstrated most explicitly in Season 2’s “Episode 3101,” where we are privy to a full-length episode of Mr. Pickles Puppet Time—the fictional show within the show. In helping children process the concept of change, Mr. Pickles also faces it himself in real time as he grapples with the reality of finally signing his divorce papers and leaving what is most precious and familiar: his wife and home. In the world of Pickle Barrel Falls, the characters are leaving their broken homes too and Ennui must be brave and face this new reality. Both Ennui and Jeff are comforted when Piccola Grande, the Pickle Fairy of Hope (played by none other than Ariana Grande), turns up to remind everybody (in song, of course) that change is inevitable and “maybe getting up again is what falls are for.” She gives Ennui the strength to move out of Pickle Barrel Falls and Jeff to sign his divorce papers, giving way to healthier relationships with his family members and, finally, the opportunity to heal from the death of his son.

With the TV landscape becoming more and more crowded, risky shows with lofty themes like Kidding don’t come along very often. The more you dive into the show, the more you find rich layers of deeply constructed storytelling, perfectly matched by intentional and calculated performances. This includes more than the human performers; the puppeteers are similarly exceptional. Kidding is a celebration of the power of children’s television, even (and perhaps especially) for adults.

For those interested in genres, Kidding is difficult to characterize. On the surface, it is too funny to be a tragedy and too tragic to be a comedy. Others (including Holstein himself) have described it as “magical realism.” However, the show takes great care to present even the most absurd moments as a reality. After all, anything that feels real is real. Perhaps this is why it didn’t find much of an audience. In a world where we want answers, it is uncomfortable and sometimes even frustrating to live in the “I Don’t Know”—something Mr. Pickles himself points out in Season 2.

After two seasons, Kidding was prematurely canceled on Showtime. One of Holstein’s ideas for a third season was to center on a “global event that unites many around the world in a common grief.” Ironically, Season 2 ended in March of 2020, right as a global event began to tear the world apart. In 2023, Kidding was removed entirely from streaming services, thereby making a digital or DVD purchase the only way to watch it. Both its early cancellation and the current inaccessibility of the show are tragedies worthy of Kidding’s harsh reality.

Josh Sharpe is a Pacific Northwest based entertainment journalist with bylines in TheaterMania, Collider, and Paste. To hear about his thoughts about film, TV, and musical theatre, follow him @josh_sharpe22 on all socials.

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