The success of Mystery Science Theater 3000 stemmed largely from the comedic acumen of the writers and performers. They came up with the smart jokes, clever, esoteric pop culture references, and the funny sketches scattered throughout episodes. However, we cannot overlook another key piece of the puzzle—the movies.
Were it not for these cinematic duds, MST3K would have just consisted of a guy and some robots up in a spaceship twiddling their thumbs. Throughout the show’s run, the crew of the Satellite of Love went through a litany of celluloid disasters. Some were so bad, they were good. Others were so bad, they were, well, bad. And some-the worst—boggled the mind and defied logic. Here are the worst of the worst, the most egregious insults to filmmaking (so bad, we didn’t even rank them) that ever found their way into the not too distant future.
1. Robot Monster (Season 1, Episode 7)
A robot is bad enough, but a robot monster? Now that’s a real pickle. Robot Monster is a cheery tale about Ro-Man Extension XJ-2, who is trying to eliminate all life on Earth—and the whole thing may or may not be a dream (or at least a partial dream). It’s hard to tell, in part because the movie is so poorly made. But it stands out from a bunch of other monster movies because Ro-Man from outer space is clearly a dude in a gorilla suit wearing a diving helmet. What does this have to do with a robot monster? Maybe it’s just dream logic. Which is pretty deep when you think about it. Deep… or stupid.
2. The Castle of Fu Manchu (Season 3, Episode 23)
The problem with The Castle of Fu Manchu is that, while it is certainly terrible, it’s not terrible in a fun way. There aren’t many laughs to be drawn from the film itself. Watching it without the companionship of Joel and the ‘bots would be an act of aggression against one’s self. Christopher Lee plays the insidious Dr. Fu Manchu, which should be warning right there, and a plot unfolds that nobody can really decipher. It’s a real slog.
3. Bride of the Monster (Season 4, Episode 23)
A movie made by Ed Wood had to make this list, even if MST3K never got to Plan 9 from Outer Space. Featuring Wood’s mainstays of Bela Lugosi and Tor Johnson, this film was made famous by Tim Burton’s Ed Wood because of the use of a lifeless giant octopus that actors would have to fruitlessly thrash around with to try and make it look like, you know, it was alive and attacking them. This is emblematic of the movie, and of Wood as a filmmaker in general.
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