TIMORATUS

Christmas Present Crisis

Christmas Present Crisis by TIMORATUS
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MetalComedy
For fans of:Psychostick, Troldhaugen, Mr. Bungle
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  1. Christmas Present Crisis
Description

Have you ever waited too long to find a gift for your significant other? Well, this is a song about just that.

lyrics *Christmas Eve*

Bryan: “Hello?”

Oh, No! What am I gonna do?!

I waited too long

I can’t find anything

Bryan: “What?”

David: “Sorry, Dude you've gotta help me, I can't figure out what to get my wife for Christmas.”

Bryan: “Okay, calm down man, I'll help you out. What does she normally like?”

David: “I don’t know, girl stuff I guess.”

Bryan: “Ah… okay, well you could head to the mall see if you can find something you think she'd like.”

David: “That’s a good place to start, thanks man!”

I got a crap car and not a lot a money

I just wanna find something nice for my hunny

I don’t wanna be seen as a loser chump

Giving to her some weird ugly lump

I'm so lost I have no idea

What to get as the ultimate present

Shambling

Walking

Gaining my footing

As I enter the gates of the mall

On a quest for a thoughtful gift

Bryan: “Hey, you get there yet?”

David: “Yeah, I just got here”

Bryan: “Okay well.. While your there would you mind picking up a hot candied pecan bag for me?”

David: “Uh… Alright”

Anyway, I could get her that weird smelling candle

What's it called?

Oh that's right, Badlands National Park

No, I can't stand that scent

I don't want it round

Tainting my nostrils

Looking around the center

Finding all sorts of wares

Maybe the classic fruit cake

What about a fancy gun rack

I could look around a home decor store

...nope

David: “She likes those Pop figures.”

Bryan: “There's so many of those dang things.”

David: “I know, right!”

Bryan: “What does she nerd out over?”

David: “Well...”

There’s Ducktales, Sailor Moon and Batman too

There's Blade Runner, Princesses and Five Nights too

With so many toys to get

Can it really be this hard?

To find the perfect gift

They tell me how to love her

To buy her shiny things

I really really really like this pink diamond ring

Cute cat ear headphones

I could go in another direction

Get something for myself that would also be for her

Bryan: “That sounds like a good idea, like what?”

Get a nicely tailored suit

Try on some nice gurl pants

Pic with me and Santa

What am I going to get

What am I going to give

What am I going to gift

For my Significant Other

Mall Loudspeaker: “The Mall is now closing, please take your final purchases to the counter and get out.”

David: “No! There’s gotta be more time!”

*Christmas Day*

Courtney: “I love you hunny bunny and I'm so happy to spend Christmas with you”

David: “Hunny… I've gotta confess… I didn't get you anything for Christmas. I couldn't find anything you'd like…”

Courtney: “Oh hunny, I couldn't find you anything either”

Courtney: “So… what'd you get your parents?”

Credits

David Napier - Instrumentation / Vocals

Bryan Powell - Friend On Phone Vocals

Courtney Napier - Vocals

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MetalComedy
For fans of:Psychostick, Troldhaugen, Mr. Bungle
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