Trump Retweeted a YouTuber Named “Jeff Tutorials” & Everything Is Fine
We all shine on
Jeff J Mitchell / Getty Politics Features Donald Trump
President Trump retweeted a 16-year-old MAGA troll named “Jeff Tutorials” the other day. The Daily Beast reports that Jeff Tutorials…
usually runs a YouTube channel devoted to “GTA 5 News, Tips, Tricks & Glitches.” Since President Trump retweeted his CNN meme this morning, he’s dreaming bigger. … On Monday afternoon, 16-year-old Jeff, who uses the last name “Tutorials” for both his YouTube business and his Twitter account, began a thread of tweets in response to a tweet from the president about his proposed travel ban. “THANK YOU MR. TRUMP,” Tutorials, who did not want to provide his last name to The Daily Beast, began. “THE LIBERAL MEDIA KEEPS LYING,” went another one in the thread. Then Jeff got a little more inventive with a meme depicting “FNN” in CNN’s font, an acronym for “Fake News Network.”
— Jeff Tutorials (@JeffTutorials) June 26, 2017
Then the President retweeted him.
One Twitter user summarized the entire affair:
The President of the United States retweeted a GTA 5 YouTuber named Jeff Tutorials
— Stefan (@boring_as_heck) June 27, 2017
I don’t see why this is a big deal. Nobody should break their face in their windshield to see if that ends the Matrix. None of us need to do that right now, before we read the rest of this feature. Don’t go and do that. I urge you not to escape this Inception-level reality we live in now. Jeff Tutorials, who catalogs glitches for a video game, and whose last video was titled “GTA 5 Online “GET FREE SHARK CARDS” 1.40! WORKING 2017 “Free Shark Cards GTA 5” 1.40 (GTA 5 Online)” is definitely not the Matrix hinting to you that none of this is real.
“The thing is that you can’t judge someone by their age, so if someone that’s 16 knows more than someone that’s 50, then you can’t really judge someone by their age,” he told The Daily Beast.
Did you know that according to Emmett Rensin, the world has two doomsday clocks currently running? One is called Impending Climate Disaster and the other one is Total Economic Automation Makes the Working Class Irrelevant. But that’s okay.
I mean, what are these problems to the brave new world we live in? The President retweeted Jeff Tutorials. Jeff. Tutorials. Je. Ff. Tut. Orials. That’s really cool. This is the water and this is the well, drink full and descend. This is not a sign from Providence that we should repent from our dread course. The abyss does not gaze also.
The President of the United States retweeted a GTA 5 YouTuber named Jeff Tutorials
— Stefan (@boring_as_heck) June 27, 2017
I mean, you know how Very Online People are always saying “I’m not mad, I’m actually laughing?” Well, I am definitely not mad, but I am also definitely not laughing. I am definitely not guffawing out loud in raw horror at the most surreal moment in human history. I am pleased, not boggled, by the birth of a beast who shouted “cuck” at the heart of the world.
The President of the United States retweeted a GTA 5 YouTuber named Jeff Tutorials
— Stefan (@boring_as_heck) June 27, 2017
The American President tweeted Jeff Tutorials, and this in no way diminishes all that our civilization holds near and dear. Conservatives complained if Obama coughed twice in the Oval Office, but that was reasonable, wasn’t it? The umbilical cord of mutual admiration vitamins rocketing back and forth between the world’s most powerful man and a very sensible gamer is certainly not a symbol of the imminent dissolution of the Republic. If you thought so, you’re dead wrong.
Trump is in control of himself and his faculties. Why, all the traditions of the American Internet can be traced back to the first Twitter President, George Washington. He wrote letters, which were a kind of tweeting. He lived, laughed, and loved in Virginia, which was an 18th-century version of our own Internet, filled with angry, ranting screech-mammals with odd theories on race and politics. You may remember these from the pages of your history book titled “Patrick Henry” and “Patrick Henry’s Death.” Presidents have always behaved this way. Somehow, a gigantic, man-killing Virginian demigod who ate British generals whenever it suited him seems ordinary now.
But you know what? Expanding your comfort zone is part of Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride, AKA growing up in Trump’s America. I see nothing here which would send me screaming into the wilds to live off of locusts and honey like John the Baptist or a Nebraska militiaman.
The President of the United States retweeted a GTA 5 YouTuber named Jeff Tutorials
— Stefan (@boring_as_heck) June 27, 2017
This is normal, and this is fine. We are not praying for quick, fun death by an asteroid made of God’s vengeance. Normal people are not melting down their grandmother’s candlesticks so they can cover their heads with triple-plated armor, to protect their thoughts from government transmitters. Foreign-born people aren’t being drummed out of the military. Health care isn’t being taken from millions of people.
Parameters of decency have not been exceeded. The nausea reaction remains unsummoned by the events of this day, and every day. None of us stare into a mirror with haunted eyes and whisper: “What grievous sin hath brought this lash of the Lord upon us?” Not a one of us. Nuclear fire would definitely not appear to be a relaxing alternative to whatever this is. No sir.
The Capitol Police didn’t yank a bunch of disabled people from their vehicles the other day when they were protesting the health care bill. This nation is a home which is blessed financially, morally, physically, and hygienically. This citizen-statesman interaction in no way reflects the breakdown of all normal life, nor does it erode the fabric of the playroom we so laughingly refer to as “reality.”
This is how America works, and it’s totally in the boundaries of reason and good taste, and that’s fine, see, nothing is on fire within my field of vision and y’know what, call me old fashioned but I’m going to declare National Me Day and label that a big win for everyone. Tip-top here! How is your life?
The President of the United States retweeted a GTA 5 YouTuber named Jeff Tutorials
— Stefan (@boring_as_heck) June 27, 2017
This is fine.