The Predator

There was no need for The Predator, a vague sequel to iconic action potboiler Predator and 1990’s dated, vulgar bloodbath, Predator 2, starring Danny Glover as Lt. Mike Harrigan, a weird old man who has no friends but does have a healthy obsession with oversized handguns and phallic metaphors that illustrate he might actually not know how penises work. As with most things in 2018, there was no need for a reboot, or sequel, or whatever, yet it exists anyway, and in the more-than-capable imagination of Shane Black, The Predator works—it works hard—to hybridize the many foundational successes of the Predator franchise. Aping the plot structure, humid aura of testosterone and ‘80s action-thriller chops of the original, as well as the meta-violent, tone deaf vulgarity of 2, The Predator is a funhouse of “fuck”-leaden witticisms and grotesque CGI bloodletting, an old-fashioned franchise staple infused with Black’s voracious knack for crafting the best the Hollywood machine has to offer.
Which also means that it’s too often barely coherent. Like in Nimród Antal’s off-world Predators, the tête-à-tête between man and alien here balloons into an ensemble action-adventure, Black relishing the chance to have a bunch of skeezy bros make fun of each other relentlessly, picking light fun at action movie tropes by treating human life like disposable flesh bags ready to hilariously erupt into rooster tail after rooster tail of bright crimson corn starch. Characters are introduced, then summarily dispatched; details about the aliens are discovered, then never used; a biologist (Olivia Munn) with a strictly academic background demonstrates skill in both heavy arms and hand-to-hand combat; Jake Busey is here playing the son of his dad’s character from Predator 2. None of it needs to make sense, but all that viscera would be so much more satisfying to see blanket the ground of our dying earth if it did.
We meet Covert American Sniper Quinn McKenna (Boyd Holbrook) right as he’s set to blow the skull off some drug dealer’s neck, which he does, but not before the sky opens up with a UFO crash landing, ruining McKenna’s operation and liquidating his crew. As both witness to the return of yet another Predator and thief of some of the Predator’s gear from the wreckage, McKenna’s eventually apprehended by sinister government officials, led by the smirking, mint-popping, obviously psychotic Traeger (Sterling K. Brown, literally chewing the shit out of everything around him). Meanwhile, the aforementioned government officials invite the aforementioned biologist, Casey Bracket, to their secret government facility, where they’ve got the sedated Predator recovered from the crash very pathetically strapped to a table. Casey is there because she wrote a letter to the POTUS when she was 6 years old or something? It hardly matters, because the Predator breaks loose (duh), murders everybody (no, Jake Busey!) except for Casey, who learns that the Predator doesn’t kill naked humans, because she has to get naked—don’t ask—a lesson which doesn’t really hold much bearing on future events, except that maybe the Predator won’t hunt prey who are physically weak or don’t provide a suitable challenge? Regardless, blood covers every panel of this sterile futuristic lab, and Shane Black understands the horny joy of hearing an alien shank repeatedly sink into some army schmuck’s kidney.