Chloe & Theo seems to have its heart in the right place, though it does nothing more than present yet one more example of how white people can save a poor, helpless Other from his or her own ignorance, in the process demonstrating that it has no conscious idea of how the world actually works though it’s attempting to raise social awareness over some admittedly obvious issues. Chloe & Theo, in other words, fumbles every aspect of its moral play in frighteningly embarrassing ways.
Meet the eponymous Theo, played by Theo Ikummaq, a Canadian Arctic Inuit portraying a fictionalized version of himself. Theo travels to New York after his elders warn him of the Legend of the Angry Sun, wherein the consumerism and selfishness of people south of the Arctic causes the Sun to rage out and destroy everything it deems unworthy of its tenuous, life-giving power. Theo’s purpose, then, is to meet with “our elders” to explain the dangers that await those outside of Inuit society who refuse to change their ways. Of course, Theo has no idea how to find said “elders,” though he meets homeless Chloe (Dakota Johnson), who, along with her ragtag group of street urchins, try to help Theo spread his enlightening message of the impending threat of global warming. Because, you see, Chloe & Theo exists in a universe where no one has ever heard of global warming, so much so that Theo’s revelations come as a surprise to everyone.
For much of the film, Theo does little more than explain his story over and over again, occasionally taking a break to correct passersby—all of whom immediately comment on how he is an Eskimo—that he is actually an Arctic Inuit, accompanied by Johnson, who delivers a thoroughly tonally confused performance enriched by the layer of “dirt” over her makeup, which of course insists that she is in fact homeless. And really, let’s be honest: Theo siding with this homeless group only hurts his cause, making him look certifiably crazy preaching on the side of the road. One of his companions, the sensibly named Mr. Sweet (Andre De Shields), suggests that Theo present his ideas to the U.N. The group decides to head there as an army of homeless compatriots, which inevitably gets them all arrested. Great idea, Mr. Sweet.