1. Be Late
Normally airline recruiters will flush tardy retards like you right down the pooper. But if you’re late and manage to squeak a face-to-face after all, be prepared with a good excuse, like how you witnessed a car accident and had to stop and perform a roadside tracheotomy on a toddler or something. It helps to have doctored photos.
2. Wear a Hot Pink Business Suit
The airlines are not looking for people who stick out in a crowd. They want conformers, and it suits your purpose to pretend to be one. Your best bet regarding attire during an airline interview is to wear something that resembles the uniform you’d be expected to wear while performing the job. Delta’s uniform colors are, for example, are red, white and dark blue—not very imaginative, I know, but grit your teeth and bear it (which, by the way, will gain you points for performing the classic flight-attendant smile). Whatever you do, don’t dare show up in a Pucci-print cat suit like the old Braniff Airlines uniforms no matter how much you think this style ought to make a comeback. (And it really should make a comeback.)
3. Be an Asshole
It’s likely you’ll be asked to give a 60-second rant on who you are and why you’re perfect for the job. Don’t say any of the following actual things that were said during airline interviews that shit-canned the chances of the interviewee: “And yes, I am a model,” said the beautiful, clueless bitch (to a bunch of beautiful, bitchy airline recruiters); “I’m looking for a less stressful job,” said the bankrupt business owner (airline recruiters think their industry rivals neurosurgery on the stress level); “Why are all Americans so fat?” said the French fuckwit, who, up until then, seemed like a perfect candidate. “I can’t wait to call security to have people thrown off the plane,” said the candidate who wondered why no one gets her sarcastic sense of humor.