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It’s Time to Stop Trying to Make Mean Girls Happen

By Amy Amatangelo  |  January 11, 2024 | 2:50pm
Movies Reviews Musicals
It’s Time to Stop Trying to Make Mean Girls Happen
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In the beginning there was the book Queen Bees and Wannabes by Rosalind Wiseman. Then, in 2004, came the Tina Fey-written movie Mean Girls, which launched Lindsay Lohan into post-child stardom. In 2018, the hit Broadway musical of the same name premiered. While no longer on Broadway, the musical is still touring and coming soon to a city near you! And now, as we begin 2024, a full 20 years since Tina Fey originally tried to make “fetch” happen, the Mean Girls movie musical, which is based on the Broadway musical, which is based on the movie, which was inspired by a book, premieres. It’s a Russian doll of an entertainment property. Is a documentary about the making of the movie musical next? I don’t think we can rule it out. 

Therefore, all that said, I appreciated Tina Fey, who produced, wrote and appears in the new Mean Girls, coming on the screen before the movie began to thank viewers. Like me, she must know that it is very rare for a 20-year-old property to get so many iterations. 

After living in Africa and being homeschooled her whole life, Cady Heron (Angourie Rice) relocates back to the United States and finds herself, for the first time, in a public high school. On her first day, she meets Janis (Auli’i Cravalho) and Damian (Jaquel Spivey) who give her the downlow on North Shore High School’s social structure. The school is ruled by a group of girls known as “the plastics.” There’s the queen bee Regina George (Reneé Rapp), the not-so-bright Karen (Avantika) and the chronically insecure Gretchen (Bebe Wood). Over calculus problems, Cady makes the mistake of falling for Regina’s ex-boyfriend Aaron Samuels (Christopher Briney, bringing the same low energy he sports in The Summer I Turned Pretty). When Regina discovers this, she gets Aaron back, breaking Cady’s heart in the process. Janis, Damian and Cady launch a plan to bring Regina down.

While the story has been modernized to include social media, Spotify playlists and cell phones, for the most part, 2024 Mean Girls is a near verbatim recreation of 2004 Mean Girls (even the costume Cady wears to the Halloween party is exactly the same), with some musical numbers thrown in. 

Thankfully, there is some very necessary course correction. Not only is the cast much more diverse, unfortunate plotlines—like Coach Carr making out with students in the janitor’s closet—are totally gone. (This means that Jon Hamm is criminally underused in this Mean Girls, but if that’s the price we have to pay to not have jokes about teachers sexually abusing students, so be it.) There are far fewer fat jokes (thank goodness) and Janice gets to be a lesbian instead of just being accused of being one like that is something horrific. 

Naturally, all the movie moments that have worked their way into our lexicon are present, including “On Wednesdays, we wear pink,” “It’s October 3rd”  and “Stop trying to make ‘fetch’ happen!” The burn book is there in all its pink glory, as is Busy Phillips having a blast as Regina’s “cool mom.”

So really, it’s only the singing and the dancing that are different. And I had to laugh when I heard a woman lament that she would have liked it better if there had been less singing. Clearly she had come to the wrong place—and I’ve got a 2004 movie for her to watch. 

It is hard to capture the utter joy of watching a live musical on the screen, but it’s here that Mean Girls falters. As directed by Samantha Jayne and Arturo Perez Jr., the musical numbers land with a thud. Far too often, the lip syncing is off. We know they are obviously not singing while filming, but it’s not fun to constantly be reminded of this fact. The stand-out singers are Rapp, who played Regina on Broadway, and Cravalho, the voice of Moana. The rest are…fine. If you saw them in a high school play, you might think, “Well good for them! They sound great!” But as leads in a major motion picture a lot of the singing lacked oomph. Let Broadway singers sing in movie musicals! 

What struck me after watching Mean Girls, much like it did when I saw the Broadway musical, is that the songs of Mean Girls, with music by Jeff Richmond and lyrics by Nell Benjamin, aren’t that great. You won’t walk out of the theater singing or humming a tune. They are just not that memorable. The movie adds two new songs, including the instantly forgettable “What If,” which kicks off the movie. The only time the movie truly comes alive is during Janice’s “I’d Rather Be Me.”

There are a few fun cameos, including one that’s too delightful to spoil. Ashley Park, who originated the role of Gretchen on Broadway, pops up as French teacher Madame Park. Both Fey and Tim Meadows are back reprising their roles as math teacher Ms. Norbury and Principal Duvall, with their relationship taking a sweet twist. Spivey is the most fun to watch as the “too gay to function” Damian. He puts his own energetic spin on this well-known character and is a delight. But, like Cady, I’m pretty good at math—and the positives don’t outweigh the negatives here. I think it’s time we stopped trying to make Mean Girls happen. 

Director: Samantha Jayne, Arturo Perez Jr.
 Writer: Tina Fey
 Starring: Angourie Rice, Reneé Rapp, Auliʻi Cravalho, Jaquel Spivey, Avantika, Bebe Wood, Christopher Briney, Jenna Fischer, Busy Philipps, Tina Fey, Tim Meadows
 Release Date: January 12, 2024

Amy Amatangelo, the TV Gal®, is a Boston-based freelance writer and a member of the Television Critics Association. She wasn’t allowed to watch much TV as a child and now her parents have to live with this as her career. You can follow her on Twitter (@AmyTVGal).

 
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