Film critics are a generally skeptical bunch, and when a film with big-name talent tries to fly under the radar—with a limited number of review screenings offered just a few days before opening and almost no marketing—our curiosity is naturally piqued further. Case in point: this weekend’s quiet release of Rock the Kasbah with Bill Murray, Kate Hudson, Zooey Deschanel, Danny McBride, Scott Caan and Bruce Willis, directed by Barry Levinson (Diner, Rain Man) and written by Mitch Glazer (Scrooged, The Recruit). After catching the only screening scheduled this week, we understand why distributor Open Road Films wanted to sweep this one under the rug.
A fish-out-of-water tale in set in Afghanistan, Rock the Kasbah is a mess of a film that wastes the talents of Murray and cast. If Levinson were trying to capture the sentiment of his earlier film Good Morning, Vietnam, which successfully mixed comedy and war, Rock the Kasbah completely misses the mark. We think Glazer’s script was supposed to be a comedy, or even a comedy-drama, and there are about three or four laughable moments in the film—but not in the way Glazer and Levinson intended. In addition to the film’s odd tone, a ridiculous number of storylines and characters appear then disappear just as quickly. Then there’s the issue of the awful treatment of female characters—and we’re not talking about the Afghani ones.
Murray plays Richie Lanz, a washed-up Bill Graham wannabe from Van Nuys, Calif. We’ve seen this “lovable bum” archetype from Murray before, from John in Stripes to Tripper in Meatballs. Richie is a slimy music manager who only takes on clients who can pay him; no talent required. He jumps at the chance for a paying USO tour of Afghanistan, forcing his assistant-client Ronnie (Zooey Deschanel) to go and perform. Before he sets off for the war-torn country, he stops by and talks lovingly to his young—really young—precocious daughter outside her window, since he and his ex aren’t on the best terms. We don’t see the daughter much again in the film (which happens to a number of other characters, too) so the scene’s obviously only included to show that Richie has a heart after all.
When they land in Afghanistan, Ronnie and Richie are greeted by Private Barnes (Taylor Kinney). Barnes mostly vanishes after he drops the USO guests off at their hotel, and Ronnie disappears, too, after she bails on Richie and his tour, taking his money, passport and stranding him in the country. She manages to catch a flight out of Kabul pretty easily with the help of a sneering American mercenary, Bombay Brian (a role that’s now old hat for Bruce Willis).
Here’s where the real mad-cappery ensues. Since Bombay Brian says he’s going to kill Richie if he doesn’t pay for Ronnie’s passage, Richie agrees to do a weapons/ammunitions drop-off for two former Herbalife salesmen-turned-arms dealers, played by Scott Caan and Danny McBride (don’t get used to them either). Along the way to the remote village, he picks up a Pashtun sidekick, taxi driver Riza (Arian Moayed). The tough village leader Tariq (Fahim Fazli) is in need of the arms to protect his people from a warlord who wants to force them to grow poppies for the region’s opium trade. “I am tired of war, but I cannot afford the peace,” Tariq says solemnly with Riza as translator.