The Funniest Tweets about the Democratic Debate’s First Night
Photos courtesy of Getty ImagesThat was a momentous debate. Beto O’Rourke and Cory Booker tried to out-Spanish each other with Julian Castro right fucking there, a confused man who claimed to be named “John Delaney” ambled onto stage, Tim Robinson showed up in character as “Congressman Tim Ryan” to do a live I Think You Should Leave sketch, and Chuck Todd reminded everybody why they wonder why he has a job.
Oh, and the microphones got all screwed up, or something.
I don’t want to make this debate sound like a total trainwreck. Compared to any Republican debate from the last election, it was the most tasteful, professional, and uneventful political function ever. And some of the candidates came off very well, like Elizabeth Warren, who actually answered the questions asked her, in what might be a first for a political debate. Castro also came off well, especially when going back-and-forth with O’Rourke on immigration, and somehow even Tulsi Gabbard got a showcase when she and Ryan went head-to-head on Afghanistan.
Still, it’s impossible to call it a success. There were too many candidates loitering the stage and dragging down the quality of debate, and NBC’s questions were reliably terrible, for the most part. (Seriously, Todd’s framing of the gun debate was criminal, and there wasn’t any room for any substantive discussion of climate change, which most candidates named as the biggest threat facing us today.) It wasn’t quite boring, despite what our president might have tweeted, but it wasn’t really constructive or beneficial in any way. It was a modern broadcast network political debate, which means it was basically just a sideshow, although a restrained one compared to what the other party offers.
That means one thing, of course: the best way to watch the debate was with Twitter open on your phone or computer. It made the whole thing tolerable, and also let us all collectively exult over Booker’s response to O’Rourke’s first attempt at Spanish. Here are the best tweets from tonight’s debate, from some of the smartest and funniest comedians and comedy writers on Twitter.
And remember: there’s another one of these things tomorrow night.
How many democratic nominees does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
24.
23 to stand around yelling at each other while Joe Biden sneaks up the ladder even though he wouldn’t be good at changing lightbulbs. #DemocraticDebate
— Jamie Kilstein (@jamiekilstein) June 26, 2019
I’m glad we treat politics as entertainment. Seems healthy and good. #DemDebate
— Louis Peitzman (@LouisPeitzman) June 27, 2019
the beginning of the #DemDebate serves as an important reminder that until now I had no idea how large or small each of these candidates were in relation to each other, and quite frankly my world is pretty rocked right now
— Erin woke bones Ryan (@morninggloria) June 27, 2019
That look on Cory Booker’s face with O’Rourke speaking Spanish #DemocraticDebatepic.twitter.com/2Z8Wc6ygqC
— Darren D. Martin (@MartinDarrenD) June 27, 2019
omg Booker’s face when Beto busted out the Spanish pic.twitter.com/O4oY4HowWK
— andi zeisler (@andizeisler) June 27, 2019
rolled my eyes so hard at Beto’s shit my head exploded
— Dan O’Sullivan (@Bro_Pair) June 27, 2019
I hope when Beto is asked about policy he just slowly pulls out a guitar #DemDebate
— Jamie Kilstein (@jamiekilstein) June 27, 2019
what Beto is doing is deeply embarrassing and deeply Tracy Flick energy #DemDebates
— (@kadyrabbit) June 27, 2019
Everyone at this bar booed when beto started speaking Peggy hill Spanish
— Jake Flores (@feraljokes) June 27, 2019
Beto talks in Spanish
Moderator: would you like to answer the question now?
Beto: si.#DemocraticDebate
— Travon Free (@Travon) June 27, 2019
“Congressman O’Rourke – do you support a 70% top marginal tax rate?”
“Uhh…donde esta la biblioteca, mi llamo Beto la arana discoteca.”
— Zach Heltzel (@zachheltzel) June 27, 2019
Beto just made history: first time a candidate didn’t answer a question in two languages
— Aaron Maté (@aaronjmate) June 27, 2019
Beto’s gonna not tax the rich and then he’s gonna not tax the rich a little slower in Spanish.
— roger (@iamtherog) June 27, 2019
In case anyone is wondering where I am I passed away watching Beto try to speak Spanish in his opening statement #DemDebates#ACandidateIsBorn
— Alise Morales (@AliseNavidad) June 27, 2019
Probably the biggest mistake anyone could make in the debate tonight is if they said “Merry Christmas,” as we are nowhere near the Christmas holiday
— Brendan O’Hare (@brendohare) June 27, 2019
This debate should be called “a night of aggressive agreement”. #DemocraticDebate
— Travon Free (@Travon) June 27, 2019
I’m still undecided in the primary but I will wholeheartedly endorse any candidate whose opening statement is Dusty Rhodes’ hard times speech to Ric Flair
— The Give Smart Guy (@BobbyBigWheel) June 27, 2019
“Imagine a world where the Beatles never existed…”
“Congresswoman Gabbard, the question was about equal pay-”— Matt Goldich (@MattGoldich) June 27, 2019
every debate, there’s a jim webb, tulsi gabbard is the jim webb
— keep golgotha weird (@Mobute) June 27, 2019
Debate update: Clint Squarejaw is making an interesting point that was not made by Flint Roundhead, Rock Largeskull, or Glorp Jugears.
— Mark Harris (@MarkHarrisNYC) June 27, 2019
this debate is like night one of The Bachelor when there are five dudes named Matt
— Mina Kimes (@minakimes) June 27, 2019
If you were a white dude in a suit over 40 and showed up to the debate, there’s a 84% chance they would have let you on stage. #DemocraticDebate
— Travon Free (@Travon) June 27, 2019
I like when these total zeroes who have never made a joke and throw cellphones at their aides say things like “all foam and no beer” they googled earlier in the hopes they don’t sound like David the killer android from Prometheus
— Dan O’Sullivan (@Bro_Pair) June 27, 2019
I hope they ask Beto O’Rourke about Space Force if only to hear him answer it in fluent Klingon #DemDebate
— Matt Oswalt (@MattOswaltVA) June 27, 2019
DEBATE COACH: What if you said—
WARREN: If I tell the truth I won’t have to remember anything.
DEBATE COACH: Cool. Cool. Cool.#demdebate— Natasha Rothwell (@natasharothwell) June 27, 2019
a debate with trap doors for when people fuck up or gtfo
— lauren ashley bishop (@sbellelauren) June 27, 2019
Beto keeps switching and fidgeting and doing shark tank hands. Not my candidate. pic.twitter.com/ihTNkRxBdu
— Hannibal Buress (@hannibalburess) June 27, 2019
When the ones who will never be president say, “when I’m president” I audibly awwww as if a 4-year-old showed me their drawing.
— Robby Slowik (@RobbySlowik) June 27, 2019
John Delaney has Big That Guy From Airplane Energy. #demdebatepic.twitter.com/g54aPrgjVr
— Joe Berkowitz (@JoeBerkowitz) June 27, 2019
I’m sorry but the fact that not one candidate wore a gay pride flag over their face is a concern.
— billy eichner (@billyeichner) June 27, 2019
This doesn’t have anything to do with politics but Beto is definitely the candidate most likely to invest in multi level marketing
— Mark Agee (@MarkAgee) June 27, 2019
Under DNC rules candidates are allowed to speak Spanish but are deducted points if they don’t roll their r’s
— The Give Smart Guy (@BobbyBigWheel) June 27, 2019
John Delaney paid $18 million to get onto this stage and they won’t let him get a single word in. You love to see it.
— Zach Heltzel (@zachheltzel) June 27, 2019
Tim Ryan looks like if the debates had to have a cop undercover in it like a sky marshal
— Dan O’Sullivan (@Bro_Pair) June 27, 2019
Elizabeth Warren should just be like “live más”
— JuanPa (@jpbrammer) June 27, 2019
Makeup artist, before the debate: “Do you all want the normal makeup, or the “17th century ashen ghost skin” makeup?”
Nine candidates: “Normal”
Tim Ryan: “I’m a maverick”
— Shane Ryan (@ShaneRyanHere) June 27, 2019
there’s a point in every political debate when the moderators interrupting the participants to tell them their time is up doesn’t sound much different than an actual Ma’am…….., this is a Wendy’s moment
— Erin woke bones Ryan (@morninggloria) June 27, 2019
Dorf on Politics pic.twitter.com/zV1uoBaSOu
— Woke Fartbutt (@falsebinary) June 27, 2019
— cory snearowski (@corysnearowski) June 27, 2019
No matter who wins the Democratic nomination, I will definitely support her.#DemDebate
— Charlotte Clymer (@cmclymer) June 26, 2019
One of the most interesting things about the #DemDebate is that we are so fucked it’s wild
— Zack Bornstein (@ZackBornstein) June 27, 2019
Bernie Sanders pacing around his hotel room, rubbing his temples, muttering “Los billionarios…Medicare por todos” over and over again
— Jason O. Gilbert (@gilbertjasono) June 27, 2019
Of course Chuck Todd comes out on stage and everything goes to hell. Even the audio rebelled against him. #DemDebate
— shauna (@goldengateblond) June 27, 2019
Technical difficulties during the gun control question feels like a metaphor for all our gun policy.
— Kashana (@kashanacauley) June 27, 2019
— ????s ????? (@JamesFolta) June 27, 2019
Beto O’Rourke missed a key opportunity to mention that he knows a good audio guy
— The Give Smart Guy (@BobbyBigWheel) June 27, 2019
“May I use this break to go to the bathroom?” pic.twitter.com/WMMrjysNCa
— braden graeber (@hipstermermaid) June 27, 2019
TFW you realize mid-question that you really don’t belong at this event pic.twitter.com/FEVYVOjR1n
— Kevin Gannon (@TheTattooedProf) June 27, 2019
This is the longest time Beto has been away from his copy of Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 3 in years
— drew janda (@drewjanda) June 27, 2019
Who is going to have the balls to ask one of the candidates about the overuse of plancha suicidas in pro wrestling?
— mike mulloy (@fakemikemulloy) June 27, 2019
You can’t make me learn who Tim Ryan is I refuse
— Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) June 27, 2019
Bill “some of my best sons are black” DeBlasio.
— Kashana (@kashanacauley) June 27, 2019
#DemDebatepic.twitter.com/8Jfs0u1234
— shauna (@goldengateblond) June 27, 2019
Tim Ryan has extreme sad guy at a hotel bar energy. #DemDebate
— Michelle Collins (@michcoll) June 27, 2019
tim ryan said “rear end” instead of “butt”. certified lameass, disqualified
— unlicensed professional (@KrangTNelson) June 27, 2019
I’m recording all the debates so I can binge them the night before the election.
— Josh Comers (@joshcomers) June 27, 2019
my favorite thing is watching politicians wade into saying “LGBT” out loud and coming out the other side with like five extra syllables and twigs in their hair
— JuanPa (@jpbrammer) June 27, 2019
[tim ryan shouts over the moderators]
“what you have to understand is the bones are their dollars”
— b-boy bouiebaisse (@jbouie) June 27, 2019
If Tim Ryan can make Tulsi fucking Gabbard look like a thoughtful, reasonable person, he can do anything.
— Zach Heltzel (@zachheltzel) June 27, 2019
can’t stop thinking about chuck todd combing his tiny hairs before the debate
— lana schwartz (@_lanabelle) June 27, 2019
Chuck Todd has the haircut of a man with a much stronger hairline.
— Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) June 27, 2019
Tim Ryan describing this debate pic.twitter.com/FTT1ggjcde
— Caleb Synan (@calebsynan) June 27, 2019
CHUCK TODD: Preferred news outlet?
DELANEY: NY Times.
RYAN: NY Times.
WARREN: Guardian.
O’ROURKE: Stereogum.— Jason Gore (@sonicdork) June 27, 2019
I’ll start watching the debates when we’ve whittled it down to the top 100 candidates.
— Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) June 27, 2019
CHUCK TODD: congressman o’rourke, some of ur critics say that ur not a real skater. that ur a poser with loose trucks who can’t ollie a one stair set
BETO: that’s preposterous
CHUCK TODD: i have a photo here of ur board, not a single scratch on it. u are a poser
[crowd boos]
— Bob Vulfov (@bobvulfov) June 27, 2019
John Delaney should be running for next Six Flags guy. #DemDebate
— Adam Newman (@Adam_Newman) June 27, 2019
delaney: america is us, but america is also u.s., so when i see those words “we the people” i see “us the people,” which is america, the united states
— keep golgotha weird (@Mobute) June 27, 2019
I’m all for John Delaney because I am a big fan of impressively long strings of 5th grade level clichés
— James Adomian (@JAdomian) June 27, 2019
I’d like to thank the DNC for scheduling this debate when SNL isn’t in season so I don’t have to see their take on it
— The Give Smart Guy (@BobbyBigWheel) June 27, 2019
Seeing favorites from six months ago like Beto and Klobaucher get steamrolled is like when they use the boss from level one as a normal enemy late in the game
— Chickelon Musk Puppet (@chicken__puppet) June 27, 2019
Chuck Todd: Congressman O’Rourke, how do you respond to allegations that, while impressive from a technique standpoint, the Mars Volta’s meandering prog bullshit is basically unlistenable?
Beto (sobbing uncontrollably): IT’S TRUE
— pixelatedboat aka “mr tweets” (@pixelatedboat) June 27, 2019
Here is my only debate analysis: John Delaney perpetually looks like he just shaved off his mustache. pic.twitter.com/8sZCb9sA8w
— Adam Conover (@adamconover) June 27, 2019
If you want to know why my home is a John Delaney home, look no further than the wonder and inspiration in the eyes of our three bald, cartoonishly stupid-looking boys as they watch their hero make Don Knotts faces on the television screen.
— Dan Clyne (@danCLYNE) June 27, 2019
— David Fahrenthold (@Fahrenthold) June 26, 2019
Beto is even hotter to me now bc I’m imagining the acoustic songs he’s going to write about losing the debate
— Alice Wetterlund (@alicewetterlund) June 27, 2019