Noted Business Consultant Jeff Goldblum Stars in Alamo Drafthouse’s New “Don’t Text” PSA

Movies News Jeff Goldblum
Noted Business Consultant Jeff Goldblum Stars in Alamo Drafthouse’s New “Don’t Text” PSA

Given that Jeff Goldblum is currently making the rounds promoting his appearance in Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom, it’s not too surprising to see a number of Goldblum-related stories cropping up, but it’s the sheer VARIETY of the stories that is so captivating. Just a few hours ago, we reported on the release of Goldblum’s first-ever album of jazz piano, and here we now find ourselves again … awash in further Goldblum exposure.

This time, our Goldblum overdose is coming courtesy of the fine folks at Alamo Drafthouse, the independent theater chain well known for its strict “no talking, no texting” policies. Said policy, beyond just being a good idea for a movie theater, has produced a number of classic angry responses in the past—notably this gem:

Now, though, Drafthouse is reaffirming its stance with the help of Goldblum, who appears in a humorous PSA promising that in accordance with Jurassic World, all Drafthouses will now be patrolled by robotic dinosaurs that will eat those who scoff at the “no talking, no texting” golden rule. Observe:

This is an official message from “noted business consultant” Jeff Goldblum at the offices of Goldblum & Associates, so you know it’s legit. Rule breakers, be warned.

Goldblum of course appears in Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom in the near future, and he’s also in the upcoming Hotel Artemis, playing a character that is literally called “The Wolf King.” Clearly, it’s an exciting time to be headed to the theater. Just leave your phone on silent, will ya?

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