Your Brain Will Attempt to Flee Your Body Watching the Trailer for Neil Breen’s Twisted Pair

Most mind-altering drugs have scary side-effects. Sure, you might go on a wondrous journey your first time dropping acid, but who knows when that trip might turn bad? Ultimately, the risks aren’t quite worth the reward for most people.

But then there are Neil Breen movies. Watch one, and you get all the “what the hell is happening to me?” qualities of most prohibited psychedelic substances … and with none of the hangover. Besides never being able to look at the medium of film in the same way again, that is.

Neil Breen, who we’ve written about several times in the past, is a rather mysterious, independent filmmaker who makes some of the most technically awful (but endlessly fascinating) vanity projects that have ever been seen through to completion. Possessing an incredibly unique mix of self-aggrandizing and clueless qualities, he’s not quite like any other figure in the “legendarily bad movies” canon—not even the likes of The Room’s Tommy Wiseau. After all, Tommy really only produced one film of his own. Breen, on the other hand, has rehashed the same themes over and over without seemingly acquiring any filmmaking skills, building a jaw-dropping body of work that now brings us his most ridiculous-looking film yet: Twisted Pair. The upcoming fifth feature from Neil Breen dropped its first trailer today, and suffice to say, it is a doozy.

Where can one even begin in describing that four-minute-long interpretation of what a “trailer” could possibly be expected to achieve? Just the mere title alone is hilarious in its own way, especially considering that Breen has been promoting this film as being simply titled Twisted for more than a year. Now, suddenly, on the day when its first trailer is revealed, it has a different title. I can only say that this is vintage Breen—only this man would take a perfectly conventional title and then change it to something that sounds like a film about testicular torsion … AND steal a classic quote from E.T. in the process.

As for what Twisted Pair is actually about, who’s to say? Breen appears to be playing his own twin brother this time around, meaning that he can play savior to humanity not once but TWICE within the same film, and wear the world’s most pathetic fake mustache and beard while doing so.

It’s safe to say that we’re talking about one of the great film events of 2018, and I will be there for it. Currently unknown: the actual release date for Twisted Pair, although Breen’s films tend to be rolled out very slowly, in individual screenings presided over by the filmmaker. So it’s probably going to be a while before you can buy a hand-burned DVD from Breen himself … which is indeed how he conducts business. Until then, you can check for updates on the official site for the film.

In the meantime, we highly recommend you do whatever you need to do in order to watch Breen’s finest work to date, 2013’s hilariously incompetent passion project Fateful Findings.