Stop Complaining About the House of Horrors Match
Wrestling Is Good Because It's Ridiculous
Photos courtesy of WWE.com
When Bray Wyatt challenged Randy Orton to a House of Horrors match for Payback, the majority of us paused for a second and thought, “What the hell is even a House of Horrors match?” Then when Orton immediately agreed with NO QUESTIONS ASKED, the rest of us were like, “No really what is this match what is happening.”
And THEN WWE revealed that they maybe didn’t know what the hell a House of Horrors match was either when they sent out a survey asking fans what they’d like to see in such a match. You know, just out of pure curiosity.
As a recipient of said email, I did what any reasonable person given imaginary full reign to design a match would do. I immediately asked for a boat and a plethora of snakes. Then I set my standards on the floor, put my hopes all the way on the highest shelf I had, drank a significant amount of alcohol during Payback leading up to the match, and just waited excitedly. Which is really all you can do with wrestling.
Of COURSE I was excited for this match. Yes, I was probably one of the few people who wasn’t rolling their eyes at the prospect of the Wyatt Compound making its potential return. But I grew up watching wrestling in an era where it was perfectly reasonable to challenge a man to a Casket match, or an Inferno match. Hell, to this day one of my favorite matches is when Rock and Mankind fought one another all over an empty arena. The pinfall was via FORKLIFT. That isn’t reasonable, let alone realistic. Who just leaves a forklift unattended, especially in an empty arena? OSHA should have been called, honestly.
Listen, the House of Horrors match was absolutely ridiculous, and depending on who you ask that’s either the best thing or the worst thing since Katie Vick. Me? Well, I definitely didn’t think it was as bad as Katie Vick—how is that even a baseline?