The Strain: “The Third Rail”

In “The Third Rail,” Setrakian mentions that The Master of the vampires feeds on human suffering. If that’s the case, maybe he should just visit the homes of people watching The Strain. It’s not that The Strain is a bad show, it just seems so incredibly misguided at times. If you’re looking to suffer, there’s no greater place to start than “The Third Rail”’s arc between Nora’s mother Mariela and Zack.

“The Third Rail” throws these two characters—easily the most obnoxious, useless characters in the entire show—and forces them to deal with each other. While the rest of the adults are off fighting vampires in abandoned subway stations, the only child and the elderly woman with dementia must stay behind in a gated armory. At first it’s just irritating: Mariela won’t shut up about how she needs her ashtray and her cigarettes every few minutes, while Zack over-performs the sympathy. But then comes the moment of real stupidity. Zack leaves the Thrift Shop of Safety to go get Mariela some cigarettes. Even Carl from The Walking Dead would be like, “Zack, stay in the damn house.”

His search for the elusive cigarette takes him to a convenience store where he accidentally gets two looters killed, and he meets Gus (more on that problem later). Without really caring about the fact that he was just the witness to murder, and found a vampire down the street, he returns with the cigarettes and starts playing with Setrakian’s Wall of Things That Can Easily Kill a Child.

The Strain has so many different arcs that it could have taken on instead, like those badass vampire bounty hunter guys we saw forever ago. Instead, it follows two beyond-stupid characters in a quest for nothing. We have two episodes left; this shouldn’t be where we are spending such a large chunk of time, especially when it’s the worst arc of the series so far.

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But let’s get to the Gus problem Gus. He’s clearly gearing up to be one of the major heroes of the show, but he’s disconnected from everything else happening. He met Eichorst a few times, but that’s about it. At least now he’s on the same block at Setrakian’s pawn shop, so there’s the possibility of a chance run-in with the usual heroes.

Gus’ story is really the same thing we’ve seen over and over: he returns home to find that his loved ones have turned into vampires. Gus has no problem killing his brother, who we know nothing of, besides that he was a screw up. When he finds his mother, he lets her live, even though she’s probably going to turn more people. But on his way out, he runs into his landlord, who we are supposed to think of as a villain (because of the one time he asked for a rent check when rent was due). Gus kills him in a moment that’s supposed to feel like some sort of minor victory, but c’mon—that guy was just doing his job.

Thankfully, our main characters are involved in a pretty strong plot, tracking down the vampires to the tunnels near where the World Trade Center once stood. Eph crawling down a tight hole to get to the screams of his wife is a claustrophobic and effective scene, as is the moment where the group finds a huge group of vampires and The Master. The group of heroes is clearly disorganized and not ready to take on The Master quite yet, so their efforts are useless. At least we know where their base of operations seems to be.

The problem with “The Third Rail” is that there’s such promise with the main plot, yet the terrible side stories take up just as much time. The only way I can think of Zack and Mariela ever becoming interesting is if they turn into vampires, and can only have these arguments over lost cigarettes in that gross vampire grunting. And Gus just needs to join up with the group immediately. He’s too far away from everything else, when he could—and should—be an integral part of the show.

With only two episodes left in its first season, “The Third Rail” takes a huge nosedive in quality and showcases almost every reason why The Strain is problematic.

Ross Bonaime is a D.C.-based freelance writer and regular contributor to Paste. You can follow him on Twitter.

The Strain: “The Third Rail”

(Episode 1.11)