All 39 Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Songs, Ranked

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All 39 <i>Crazy Ex-Girlfriend</i> Songs, Ranked

Back in April, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend’s season finale ended the same way it had begun: with Rebecca losing her grip on reality and also losing sight of all the important people right in front of her. Now that we officially have a premiere date for the highly-anticipated second season (October 21), it feels like the right time to celebrate the incredible music that made this show so great. There’s a great mix of styles among the 39 Crazy Ex-Girlfriend songs, ranging from rap to jazz, to pop and R&B. And lyrically, the songs on this list are better than much of what can be heard on the radio lately. Trust me when I say I’ll be blasting “I Give Good Parent” next time I’m off to a soiree with the in-laws. With so many different musical elements making up the soundtrack to this show, it’s difficult picking favorites; it all depends on whether you prefer Bloom’s mad rap skills, Champlin’s dazzling Broadway style or Fontana’s take on nineties alt rock. Prep yourselves for Season Two, and join us as we celebrate the amazing tracks that made up the unforgettable first season.

39. “A Boy Band Made Up of Four Joshes” (Vincent Rodriguez III)

The boy band made up of four Joshes was difficult to get through—visually and melodically. Lyrically however, it was nauseatingly cute, as Josh is addressing everything that’s wrong with Rebecca and offering to fix it. But honestly, I doubt even four Joshes are man enough to put up with the emotional wreck that is Rebecca Bunch. Josh slipped into the boy band role so easily, honestly, it was a bit eerie.


38. “Dear Joshua Felix Chan” (Rachel Bloom)

Ahhh, young love! Doesn’t this song just take you back to the days when you still hand wrote saccharine love letters? Back to the time when your heart was still intact and blissfully unaware of the many big-footed douchebags waiting to stomp all over it? Sixteen-year-old Rebecca’s love letter to Joshua Felix Chan is sweetly hormonal and just a touch dramatic. In other words, not all that different from the carefully written notes I dropped into a couple of mailboxes when I was a kid.


37. “Clean Up On Aisle Four” (Hunter Stebiel)

Lily & The Parlour Tricks already set us up for supermarket-romancing with their new single Broken Hearts/Bones earlier this year and, as a result, we’re starting to get into love stories that unfold in the frozen food section. Marty’s sweet serenade to Ally is completely delightful. Who knew garlic, pimento and olives could sound so lovely in verse?


36. “Angry Mad” (Vincent Rodriguez III)

Josh has never been good at expressing himself with words and he seems to have been stuck in a teenaged, skateboarding mindframe for a long time. As a result, hearing him release his frustrations in this Rocky-montage-meets-Footloose-garage scene with little more than the words “angry” and “mad” works beautifully. Add in a few grunts and aaarghs for good measure and that’s about as much personality as you’ll ever get from Joshie.


35. “Oh My God I Think I Like You” (Rachel Bloom)

Oh, poor Rebecca! All that spanking and Greg’s wrecking her lady parts has given Rebecca the feels, and she’s no longer sure if it’s just about sex… or oh, my god: does she like him? Plenty of us are routing for team #Grebecca—the two of them together make more sense than Josh and Rebecca ever will.


34. “Where is the Rock?” (Jeff Hiller, Briga Heelan, Ester Dean, Ivan Hernandez)

I wish a hairband would show up to sing in my ear whenever I find myself in an embarrassing situation I can’t talk myself out of. Granted, they didn’t help Rebecca all that much, ultimately just confusing the many lies and voices in her head. But at least she didn’t have to face that panicked oh-shit-I’ve-been-caught-out-AGAIN moment all on her own. Her facial expression in this scene is priceless—it’s the way any proper nineties girl would react to a Motley Crue-looking eighties band these days.


33. “Feeling Kinda Naughty” (Rachel Bloom)

The title of this song is a bit misleading because as far as I’m concerned, Rebecca wasn’t feeling “kinda naughty” that night; more like “kinda, totally more damaged than usual.” And sure, that may sound a bit harsh; I guess there are many of us who’ve had that kind of girl crush—the one where you can’t really tell if you want to smooch your newfound BFF or if you really just want to take over her identity. “Feeling Kinda Naughty” isn’t one of Bloom’s best songs, but it deserves a big thumbs up for one specific reason. What started out as a parody of Katy Perry’s “I Kissed a Girl,” actually translated into what Perry’s lyrics would have sounded like had they stemmed from an honest place.


32. “Dream Ghosts” (Michael Hyatt, Ricky Lake, Amber Riley)

Yeah, you read correctly: Ricky-freakin’-Lake. Though, if you watched the series, you can’t be that surprised. Dr. Phil made an appearance, so why not Ricki Lake as a dream ghost? The trio harmonize in aid of pointing troubled people like Rebecca (and the guy contemplating his divorce, and the girl considering an abortion) in the right direction by sneaking themselves into their dreams. “Dream Ghosts” has a sweet vibe obviously reminiscent of the Dreamgirls—oh, and because they’re all women, the job doesn’t pay very well.


31. “California Christmastime” (Full Cast)

I guess Christmas songs have to be a bit tacky in terms of melody, but I would have much rather preferred a Sublime approach to this one. Still, the lyrics reflect that biting satire the show has become known for. They totally oversell the concept of a sunny Christmastime (Christmas without snow is bullshit), only to slowly destroy the joyous, seasonal spirit by making us think about real stuff, like cancer and the consumerist mentality behind the holiday. A nice touch is everyone collectively admitting, in a complete side note, to wanting to find themselves. It’s another moment that normalizes all the “crazy” in everyone’s thoughts.


30. “One Indescribable Instant” (Lea Salonga)

We all knew the team behind Crazy Ex-Girlfriend would pull out all stops for the season finale, but we didn’t see Lea Salonga coming. Introduced as Josh’s Aunt Myrna, a one-time Star Search celebrity from the eighties who never quite got over her self-perceived stardom, Salonga took to the stage to sing about that One Indescribable Instant—the very one Rebecca has been waiting for throughout the whole episode, if not the entire season. And in that “one indescribable, magical, mystical, endless, incredible, barely believable truly unlikely but not inconceivable, what are you kidding me, no it’s for-realable instant,” while Myrna sings her little heart out on stage, Rebecca finally gets what she (thinks) she’s always wanted.


29. “What I’ll Be” (Santino Fontana)

Fontana’s voice mesmerized the hearts of many a little girl when he lent it to Frozen’s Prince Hans. Now, some three years later, Fontana is doing the very same for girls in their teens, ladies in their fifties and pretty much everyone in between. “What I’ll Be,”, the opening of which is reminiscent of Billy Joel’s “Piano Man,” is Greg’s first solo on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and it helps really bring shape to his character. We’d already gotten to know the cynical, but secretly hopeful side of him, but this is the first time he really drops his guard since his disastrous date with Becca. In “What I’ll Be,” Greg shares with us his need to break free from West Covina and his life as a lime slicing, vodka pouring bartender.


28. “Having a Few People Over” (Pete Gardner)

Daryl is discovering a whole new world and is open to all types of new experiences, including “Having a Few People Over” and impressing them with a wide selection of fromage and crudités. This is another great tribute to Daryl’s general excitement and his efforts to find his place in the world. This song is the drug you need to muster up the energy to clean your house in under two minutes, AKA just before your guests arrive.


27. “West Covina” (Rachel Bloom)

This was the very first song on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and therefore, also the moment when most of us awkwardly scratched our heads and stifled a laugh, while wondering, “What the hell am I watching right now?” It’s such a Disney moment, complete with cheesy dance routines and pretty dresses, some may have had a hard time fully immersing themselves in it, for fear of actually liking something seemingly kitschy. But if you can move past that and actually start listening to the lyrics, you’ll notice that this particular New York princess seems to have barely escaped the padded walls of an asylum, hence her need to escape to West Covina. But just to be clear: it’s not because Josh lives there, she just needed a change… ’cause to move there for Josh, now that’d be strange, right?


26. “I Have Friends” (Rachel Bloom and Ava Acres)

If you’ve ever gone through a loner spell during high school, or faced a big transitional period in your life, you may relate to “I Have Friends.” It’s basically the song you sing to yourself when you’re trying to convince yourself you’ve got lots of friends… when in actuality, you don’t. Or do you? Think of it this way: Rebecca (sarcastically) mentions several friends, Paula and Daryl included. And while they may not be “cool,” they have her back no matter what, whereas the “in-crowd” (Josh, Valencia, etc.) fail to see the loneliness Rebecca is hiding deep inside. So next time you’re moping about and pulling a Bridget Jones, take a good look around: you definitely, objectively have all the friends.


25. “Textmergency” (Jeff Hiller, Briga Heelan, Ester Dean, Ivan Hernandez)

Wouldn’t it be amazing if everyone understood the gravity of a textmergency? Or worse yet—a messagepocalpyse! Fortunately, Rebecca Bunch seems to be surrounded by fellow lawyers and clients who have had their fair share of textmergencies and don’t hold it against her when she dashes out of the office in an attempt to save herself from complete and utter humiliation… Well. Kind of. Either way, this snazzy formation has definitely coined a term that will follow us into the next decade.


24. “I Love My Daughter (But Not In a Creepy Way)” (Pete Gardner)

Poor Daryl, he’s just got so much going on, but he’s crap at expressing the many things that go through his confused mind. He still hasn’t found his way in life and transmits such excited curiosity, it’s hard to take him seriously at times. But it is this gentle and child-like spirit of enquiry, this unconditional and totally NOT creepy love that ultimately saves him from looking/sounding like a dodgy guy. Daryl is sincere and he really does love his daughter (in a normal way). And if you look passed the Freudian horses in the video, you’ll believe that too.


23. “I’m So Good at Yoga” (Gabrielle Ruiz)

This song works on so many levels. Not only is does this express relatable sentiments for the perpetually insecure, it also plays on the fact that many a yoga teacher these days acts like a self-professed guru, if not an object of idolization. Had the song been performed by anyone other than Valencia, it wouldn’t have had the same impact. But Valencia relishes in her yoga “fan base” and the fact she can kiss her own hoo-ha, so the song really isn’t all that far-fetched. Inhaling her own arrogance and exhaling on a “Rebecca sucks,” Valencia does not shy away from winding down her vicious Vinyasa flow to a chorus of childish nyah, nyah, nyahs.


22. “Sex with a Stranger” (Rachel Bloom)

There aren’t many women who can pull off a skin-tight animal print bodysuit, but two immediately come to mind: Ciara and Rebecca Bunch. Ciara definitely has the grace and fierce sexuality that shines in this suit and its wild patterns, but Rebecca is in a league of her own. It’s hard to be goofy and sexy at the same time, but that’s precisely what she pulls off here. Lyrically, the song isn’t as strong as its concept—which exaggerates the drama of an impromptu hookup, from the initial, horny confidence, to panic, to the biggest dread of all: the sweaty balls.

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