10 Great Literary Epitaphs
It’s that time of year when we confront our own mortality with a bit of festive cheer. While there’s always reason to celebrate when the corpses walking across your lawn are only after your Butterfingers, not everything surrounding Halloween can transcend the maudlin and be dipped in caramel. Tombstones, for example, are not made with sugar. It must be difficult to choose an epitaph for someone whose very life has been defined by their fantastic relationship with words. Some writers are courteous enough to supply their own epitaphs, while others just depart this world leaving the rest of us with the job of summing things up for them. A great epitaph can be chilling. The marriage of poignancy with the macabre begets some seriously deep reflection. Our post-Halloween treat to you this year is 10 great reasons to forget about your Snickers bar for a while:
1. Emily Dickinson
According to her own posthumously published words, Emily Dickinson “could not stop for Death,” but that didn’t prevent Death from stopping for her on May 15, 1886. Her epitaph reflects the reserved, modest poet we have come to know, saying not that she had “died,” but that she had been “Called Back.” While that might explain some of her more obvious predilections (death, for example), who is to say she didn’t just take a chariot “back” to Miami so she could work on her tan? Just think about that for a while.
2. Oscar Wilde
Even Oscar Wilde was unable to outwit the Grim Reaper with his famous last words, “Either that wallpaper goes, or I do.” The epitaph on his tomb, however, is rather mawkish: “And alien tears will fill for him, / Pity’s long-broken urn, / For his mourners will be outcast men, / And outcasts always mourn.” Taken from his poem “The Ballad of Reading Gaol,” the implication is that, for Wilde, death is another prison sentence. But as tragic as that sentiment is, it’s hard not to hear Wilde adding a witty “the food in here is awful” from the grave.
3. Spike Milligan
Funny man and master of literary nonsense Spike Milligan’s headstone says, “Duirt mé leat go raibh mé breoite,” which is Irish Gaelic for “I told you I was ill.” This was according to Milligan’s wishes. The epitaph, that is, not the illness.
4. Robert Frost
Robert Frost wrote his epitaph years before his death, in the final line of his poem “The Lesson for Today,” which ends with: “And were an epitaph to be my story / I’d have a short one ready for my own. / I would have written of me on my stone: / I had a lover’s quarrel with the world.” Sadly, not all lovers can kiss and make up. Frost was 88 when he died, though, so he was probably close to done with that romance anyway.