Nobody gets too excited for Leap Day. It’s kind of like a 24 hour shrug that comes once every four years. Still, Leap Day doesn’t happen very often which makes it fairly special for a non-holiday day. On the other hand, your distinct lack of specialness would be offensive if your averageness weren’t so numbingly bland.
Leap Day may not be the most amazing day of the year but it is still more special than you are. I will demonstrate proof now.
1. Leap Day only happens on February 29th
Leap Day is infrequent, but it is consistent, so that’s admirable. On the other hand, we have to deal with your up-and-down bullshit every goddamned day.
2. Leap Day was invented by Julius Caesar
Caesar is referred to as the “father” of the leap year concept because he reformed the calendar from lunar cycles to solar cycles which ended up being one of his most enduring legacies as a ruler. On the other hand, you were invented by two ordinary parents so boring they’re both named Terry. The only legacy you carry on is unremarkable genetics and assorted psychological problems.
3. Leap Day accounts for the extra time it takes Earth to complete a trip around the sun
The calendar shows only 365 days in the year, but the truth is that a full trip around the sun is 365 days and 6 hours. That’s why an extra day is needed every few years, to account for that time within the calendar system. Huh. That makes sense. On the other hand, every moment spent with you is time that may as well not exist because it is so achingly, painfully forgettable.
4. Leap years are actually not every four years
The way our standard Gregorian calendar is set up (named after Pope Gregory XIII who introduced it in the 16th Century), a leap year is only in years that are divisible by 4, such as 2008, 2012, and 2016. Years that are divisible by 100, but not by 400, do not contain a leap day. Thus, 1700, 1800, and 1900 did not contain a leap day, 2100, 2200, and 2300 will not contain a leap day, while 1600 and 2000 did, and 2400 will.
On the other hand, you are somehow even duller than that fact.