Let’s Check in on HBO’s Crashing, Shall We?
Photo by Craig Blankenhorn/HBO
I was thinking it might be fun to recap what’s transpired on this season of Crashing, the HBO series about the folkloric half-goat, half-demon who terrorizes ill-behaved children at Christmastime. Oh wait, no, that’s Krampus. Crashing is about if people liked Pete Holmes. Well, let’s check in on it anyways. Here’s what’s gone down in the first half of season two:
Episode one, “The Atheist”: Pete gets Jamie Lee a spot at the club he barks for. Lee plays someone named Ali but I’m going to call her by her real name, because practically every other real-life comic in Crashing got to keep theirs. Later Pete meets Penn Jillette, who exposes him to the argument from inconsistent revelations against Pascal’s Wager. Pete, who I guess has never considered that maybe there is no god, goes to a burlesque club and lets loose. He imbibes; he dances; he wears a feather boa. He winds up at the Fat Black Pussycat, where Dave Attell and Artie Lange invite him onstage to shoot the shit. When the shit has sufficiently been shot, he heads over to the bar and tells Jamie Lee she should take him home, which she does, and they have sex, and the camera focuses on Pete’s big grinning face, just his big speechless face grinning speechlessly, and you hear her say “So good.”
Episode two, “Pete and Leif”: The next morning, Pete misses every cue to leave Jamie’s apartment when she goes to work. Instead he sleeps in, then heads to her kitchen to make a lasagna. One assumes 45 minutes to an hour pass as the lasagna cooks. He takes the lasagna to her living room and places it on a glass table while he watches TV. You’ll never guess what happens: the hot glass pan of the lasagna cracks the glass table. (I regret to add that this apparently actually happened.) Then Jamie comes home with a friend who is also a man, much to Pete’s alarm. She tries to beat the concept of casual sex into his head, which Pete cannot quite wrap his head around, and he reflexively tells her “I love you” as she closes the door on his face. This was only the first ten minutes of the episode; I cannot tell you what happened next because I stopped watching. I stepped outside for a breath of fresh air, one thing led to another and I wound up on a marvelous ferry ride around the Bay. I saw sea lions; I witnessed a flock of cormorants dive into the water as one. I reflected on all I left behind to move here, and I realized that none of it is quite so far away as it often seems. The gold sun glittered above the green hills and for a moment, one perfect moment, I forgot there’s even such a thing as “HBO’s Crashing,” and in that moment I knew peace.