After being unjustly suspended from Twitter last week for innocently telling people it was legal to vote a day later, I’ve decided to fully become a libertarian free speech guy and a second-phase investor in totally-chill, super fair-and-balanced first amendment platform Gab. Next week’s article will be titled “The Funniest Gabs of the Week” featuring gold like “Why can’t we say it #OurWordFirst” and “MLK JR DAY IS A #FALSEFLAG!!” Their humor is a little different over there, but I think we’ll all adjust in due time.
For now, however, here are the funniest CENSORED posts from the last week on the GLOBALIST site you call Twitter:
There’s a new movie coming out called Widows and it sounds like the saddest possible sequel to Girls
When I was in middle school there was a skating rink in Arlington that would turn into a nightclub for 12-17 year olds called “Club Skatium”. That shit was wild. It was just kids dancin, smoking weed outside, and fuckin in the bathrooms. It was like that island in Pinocchio
just emailed marilyn manson to say that i’m changing the lyrics to “the beautiful pizza, the beautiful pizza” and the good news is he’s totally on board
In 2004 when I worked at Hollywood Video, one day I put Muppets Take Manhattan on and PAUSED IT on the rat, and turned all 20 TV’s on in the store. Just left him on pause all day. When customers asked about it, I just said “I don’t know!” pic.twitter.com/L0q7MLhnwh
Just because all of my white improv boyfriend’s actions strongly suggest/proove he is racist , doesn’t mean he can’t do an INCREDIBLY O.K Michael Caine impression!
