The Last Seven Candidates for Trump’s VP Pick
Who's Left?
Photos of Trump by Mark Wilson / Getty Images
Superstar Republicans like Bob Corker, Joni Ernst and Flab Gleebwell have something in common: they’ve all preemptively refused to serve as Donald Trump’s vice president. And they’re not alone: a total of 18,093 Republicans have all said if asked, they would not run. This leaves the presumptive GOP nominee in a jam, with only seven left for the nod. Here’s our insider shortlist.
1. El Chapo
Photo by Day Donaldson / Flickr
Earlier this year, El Chapo threatened the life of Mr. Trump, to which Trump relied, “Bring it, you fat, stupid bitch.” What better way to show you can unite our fractured country than to publicly reconcile? And you know how last weekend a rumor went around that El Chapo escaped? That actually happened—El Chapo sprung himself from jail to run with Trump! El Chapo knew that if Trump was elected, he could easily receive a presidential pardon. But I guess El Chapo didn’t gel with him, because he tunneled back into jail. Could another jailbreak be in El Chapo’s future? Stay tuned!
2. Hillary Clinton
Photo by Jessica Kourkounis / Getty Images
A dyed-in-the-wool Democrat, Madame Secretary wants nothing more than to become the first president in history to be the spouse of another president. But has she ruled out serving as Trump’s VP? Shockingly, no.
“I’m just being pragmatic,” said Secretary Clinton last week. “Think of all the good I can do from within The White House. Would you prefer me not in the room during important decisions? Plus, Donald is a delight, unless I win, in which case, he’s a disaster.
3. Nicole Arbour
Hey, remember her? You were really angry about her once! Well get ready to access those memories, because she just might be America’s next VP. Both she and Trump believe in the power of the free market, because the free marked soundly rejected her a few months back. They’re also both draft dodgers. Hopefully the two have some kind of fat people opinion in common? I dunno!