Wow—what a hard week. First Maggie Haberman left Twitter, then James Gunn left Guardians of the Galaxy 3. And to top it all off, all that mysterious black sarcophagus contained was a boring old dead family covered in slime! Let’s see, what else happened. This 29-year-old lady turned out to be a spy, and also Carter Page was a spy but we knew that already, and there’s going to be a new Cats movie with some very inspired casting. As for me, I got some herbs and spices at the farmers’ market. Specifically I got some sage and some thyme and a big thing of cumin. Big week for me! Okay, yeah, here you go:
JERRY SEINFELD: You could never make The Flintstones today. Today’s youth could not handle the fact that Fred does not wear shoes ME: I hope you are having fun in your car Jerry
20 years ago i got fooled very badly by THE SIXTH SENSE. I swore I’d never let my guard down again and have since assumed every character in every movie is DEAD unless told otherwise. Movies are not really fun anymore but i refuse to be humiliated a second time.
I love that Mamma Mia 2 just like, did a bunch of the same songs that were in the first one – as though to both reward and punish the viewer for coming back for more. “The emotionally distant ex-boyfriend who is good at sex” of unnecessary sequels
so called ‘experts’ are trying to tell me that the mysterious red fluid from the black sarcophagus is ‘’mostly sewage’’ which is bullshit because i know pure, fresh skeleton juice when i damn well see it
— Apartheid Disliker 2k18 (@Send_Lwyds) July 20, 2018
Nathan Fielder Knows holocaust happened, doesn’t do business w/ deniers, donated massive amounts to holocaust awareness Graduated from one of Canada’s top business schools with really good grades
Mark Zuckerberg Is cool with holocaust deniers Didn’t graduate from college
Every Kurt Vonnegut novel is like, “He diddled his pecker and then ate a nice cake. By the way I’m recounting this story from a bunker one million years in the future. A doodle doodle dee!”
I wish I had the energy to drag Mark Duplass but I met my quota of arguing with guys who look like this at a liberal arts college ten years ago pic.twitter.com/u72BtG6yN8
— Alana Hope Levinson (@alanalevinson) July 18, 2018
always fun to see large corporations, the police, and the military celebrate holidays like World Emoji Day.
SNAPE (watching Hermione argue with Ron’s gf and try to hide her true feelings): this has nothing to do with Harry potter’s prophecy………pretty much doesn’t matter to me how this ends up……..i guess ron, harry and hermione are buds. that’s like their crew or something
