Wow—what a hard week. First Maggie Haberman left Twitter, then James Gunn left Guardians of the Galaxy 3. And to top it all off, all that mysterious black sarcophagus contained was a boring old dead family covered in slime! Let’s see, what else happened. This 29-year-old lady turned out to be a spy, and also Carter Page was a spy but we knew that already, and there’s going to be a new Cats movie with some very inspired casting. As for me, I got some herbs and spices at the farmers’ market. Specifically I got some sage and some thyme and a big thing of cumin. Big week for me! Okay, yeah, here you go:
JERRY SEINFELD: You could never make The Flintstones today. Today’s youth could not handle the fact that Fred does not wear shoes
ME: I hope you are having fun in your car Jerry— Brendan O’Hare (@brendohare) July 22, 2018
i hope mindy kaling keeps her baby’s paternity a secret for so long that eventually her daughter is forced to have a mamma mia
— @lana (@_lanabelle) July 22, 2018
This is one of the biggest ways you can fuck up as a spy pic.twitter.com/qrpbh1EpZl
— Dan Sheehan (@ItsDanSheehan) July 20, 2018
support the homies pic.twitter.com/M54U8OiLmD
— darcie wilder (@333333333433333) July 22, 2018
20 years ago i got fooled very badly by THE SIXTH SENSE. I swore I’d never let my guard down again and have since assumed every character in every movie is DEAD unless told otherwise. Movies are not really fun anymore but i refuse to be humiliated a second time.
— guterman (@danguterman) July 22, 2018