Smuttynose Farmhouse Ale

I don’t know our UPS guy’s name. I know that our FedEx guy’s name is Joe, because I asked him eight or 10 years ago, and Joe has been delivering packages to four different Paste offices now. But the UPS man or woman might be someone completely new every time, to the point that I’m starting to wonder how we could be a part of so many different changing routes. But even if I don’t recognize the person wearing it, the arrival of that brown uniform carrying a box has started to create a Pavlovian response in me. “Please be beer. Please be beer. Please be beer.”
Today it was beer.
Not all deliveries are welcomed with quite that winning feeling. When a package came from Jack Link’s containing Buffalo Style Chicken Big Dippers with Buffalo and Ranch Dipping sauce, I thought, “Wow, gross.” But today was deadline day, and I never grabbed lunch, and they were still sitting in my desk drawer, and I was hungry, and so I opened the package, but they were really gross, and like I said I was hungry and… I’m not proud what happened next.