The Unicorn Latte You Actually Need to Be DrinkingPhotos by Lydia Bottom Food Features Unicorn Frappuccino
It was 8am on a Monday morning; much earlier than my acting, writing, bartending self was used to getting up, much less leaving the house. I shuffled to the train, the spring wind colder than I expected. I was up early because my friend wanted to get a unicorn latte, I like my friend, and I really like coffee.
When I arrived at her apartment just a train stop away, apparently the unicorn latte we were looking for was not down the block, but across town in Williamsburg. So about the same time caffeine deprivation hit, we alighted at a place called The End, which seemed appropriate since I was at the end of my holding-a-conversation-sans-coffee rope. We walked in, and I thought I was back in my old LA neighborhood of Silver Lake. The Moon Juice vibes radiated around the shop in the form of plants, macramé, incense and bottled juice. The owner is actually from Montauk, and not Cali, but things got Cali bizarre quickly as a German news team showed up with cameras that barely fit into the tiny shop, and asked to interview my friend and me. While I was trying to understand what was actually going into my drink and why it was blue, my excited and helpful friend agreed to be interviewed.
What happened next … oh wait, is clickbait still a thing? Anyway, I tasted my drink and it was very tart. Then, as a makeup-less, sweatshirt-wearing, bedhead-rocking, caffeine addict, I discovered, with a large German camera in my face, that this Latte had no caffeine in it. Welp.
Thankfully The End also serves coffee, and post-downing a sizable coffee with coconut milk instead of vegan glitter, I suddenly regained interest in the sparkly, blue, lemony drink I cared so little about just a few minutes before. Turns out this really quite exciting looking drink is the perfect afternoon pick-me-up for my “I can’t drink anymore coffee or I won’t sleep, and I should take care of my adrenals after all” crashes. Drum roll for the reasons you should drink this Unicorn Latte as opposed to the other one:
Photo by Lydia Bottom
It won’t give you diabetes, a heart attack or indigestion. In fact, just the opposite. It is listed as one of the shop’s “Healing Lattes.” There is no processed sugar or food coloring in this drink, only honey and naturally occurring coloration from the blue-green algae used.
Yes, that is correct, the drink has blue algae in it. If that isn’t enough reason to drink this instead of a drink you can’t get anymore, I don’t know what is. The algae used is e3, already popular among juice connoisseurs for its mental clarification skills. According to the owners of The End and creators of the drink, e3 decalcifies the pineal gland. So depending on the strength of your third eye, maybe you will be flying high like a unicorn after enjoying this drink.
It acts as a natural digestive and metabolism booster, making it the perfect post-office-burrito-lunch drink, or since you live in Williamsburg, your post-gourmet-grilled-cheese-specifically-catered-to-your-office-lunch drink. The lemon and ginger soothe your stomach and digestion while also working as a little energy boost.
It will stave off all the bad things. Coconut milk can help you lower cholesterol levels, improve blood pressure, and prevent heart attacks or a stroke, and the drink is topped with turmeric and pomegranate powders, which are respectively anti-oxidative and anti-inflammatory.
Photo by Lydia Bottom
And just in case you were wondering, The End is not a coffee shop, it is a plant alchemy bar serving coffee, juice and vibes.
Complete Unicorn Latte ingredient list: ginger, lemon, coconut milk, honey and e3 live blue-green algae.
Lydia Bottom is a writer, actor and occasional painter who has lived on all four American coasts, but now lives in Brooklyn. Tweet her @LydiaBottom.