In a post-Sharknado world, there are likely quite a few people out there with a burgeoning new interest in bad, cheap, cheesy or otherwise ridiculous movies. Many film geeks, even the purists and snobs out there, can find deeper appreciation for the art by examining just how badly a film can go wrong. The trick is finding which bad movies to watch—choose wrong, and you’re just watching something vulgar, dumb or god forbid, boring.
Indeed, not all bad films are created equally. For every true gem, there are hundreds, if not thousands, of features with almost no replay value. The following are not necessarily “the best of the best,” but they are the films without which no collection can be considered complete. For someone just getting into bad movies, every one of these films is required viewing.
Some, you have no doubt heard about before. Some are very obscure. But all are essential.
1. The Room (2003)
In any bad movie discussion, it’s practically mandated that you begin by at least acknowledging The Room. The brainchild of bizarre visionary/possible vampire Tommy Wiseau, the film is a prime example of many qualities that tend to elevate a bad movie into a classic. First and foremost is Tommy himself, the quintessentially passionate but hapless director whose name appears in nearly every credit. Writer? Tommy Wiseau. Producer? Tommy Wiseau. Lead actor? Tommy Wiseau. You can see where this is going.
In terms of its execution, the film is achingly sincere, a dramatic epic seemingly inspired by some thinly veiled break-up or unrequited love in Wiseau’s past. The rest of the cast is nearly as clueless, in a story that wanders aimlessly and devolves into subplot after subplot, none of which see any kind of resolution. The film is amazingly inviting to repeated viewings, just to soak in the weirdness and ponder how such a thing comes to be. It’s no wonder an entire viewer’s guide exists to guide neophytes in their first public viewing.
2. Birdemic (2008)
Birdemic has become a huge cult hit in recent years for reasons very similar to The Room, and the two films show striking similarities. Most notably, they both have a directorial figure who guided every step of the production personally, even when common sense tried to intervene. James Nguyen, the self-styled “master of romantic thrillers,” combined a Wiseau-like naïveté with a complete lack of funding and acting talent to create the most incoherent rip-off of The Birds moviegoers had ever seen. To call the acting bad is to slander the word “bad.”
However, that’s nothing compared to the Birdemic special effects. Featuring inarticulate CGI models of birds repeatedly screeching and hovering in place as only the tips of their wings flap, it set a whole new standard for terrible visuals in the digital age. To date, these may still be the worst-looking animal assailants ever produced, and it’s difficult to imagine how the title could ever be wrested away.
3. Hard Ticket to Hawaii (1987)
From sincere failure, we turn to gleeful excess. Perhaps no movie better captures the ridiculous spirit of 1980s “adult action” than Hard Ticket to Hawaii, and that’s including Stallone’s Over the Top. Boiled down and concentrated into this beachside Andy Sidaris feature is nearly every cliché that would characterize the best Cinemax or USA Up All Night selections: Former Playboy Playmates, graphic violence, comically inept acting and gratuitous nudity that has to be seen to be believed. Throw in a subplot revolving around a rogue snake “infected by deadly toxins from cancer-infested rats,” and you’ve got perhaps the best summertime piece of schlock ever made.
4. Moron Movies (1983)
5. Battlefield Baseball (2003)
6. Troll 2 (1990)
7. To Die is Hard (2010)
8. Thankskilling (2009)
9. She Woke up Pregnant (1996)
10. Miami Connection (1987)-
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