Doomed! You’re all Doomed! All 12 Friday the 13th Movies, Ranked
Photos Courtesy of Paramount Pictures
Other than the sheer number of them, the most remarkable thing about the Friday the 13th series is that not a single one is really a spectacular film on its own. But after 36 years, 12 movies, more than 200 deaths and adventures that span from space to hell, Jason’s series has carved out a special and enduring place in the legacy of horror cinema and slasher films in particular. Besides, sequel after sequel, Jason’s enduring beef with oversexed teenagers kinda grows on you. The man is epic with a machete, and even in death he still finds a way to keep it going. Here, on Friday the 13th, is our ranked guide to all 12 movies so far—some surprisingly decent, others so legendarily awful it’s hard to believe they exist (here’s to you, Jason Takes Manhattan!).
And we can’t help but wonder—when will we finally get the long-gestating 13th film in the series to bring it up to the total it’s been gunning for all along?
Here’s every Friday the 13th movie, ranked:
12. Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1988)
Obligatory Plot: Yet again Jason is willed back to life by an errant zap of electricity, and he hasn’t changed. Per the series tradition of totally misleading titles, two-thirds of the action takes place on a boat before they reach NYC, mostly due to budgetary constraints.
Death Count: 21
Money Shot: Once he eventually does make it to Manhattan, a group of thugs threatens Jason, but in a classic move, he turns around, takes off his mask and glowers at them until they run away screaming.
Verdict: Jason on a Boat is somehow worse than Jason in Space. Sweet trailer, though.
11. Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday (1993, part nine)
Obligatory Plot: After a military operation “kills” Jason, he passes his spirit (in the form of black mucus) from body to body while he searches for his only known relatives, who are the key to his survival.
Death Count: 27
Money Shot: For once, the titular promise is kept, and Jason is violently dragged to hell. As a bonus, Freddy makes a surprise appearance at the very last moment to help out.
Verdict: Although well-made compared to most of the sequels, the movie’s arbitrary rewrite of the series’ mythology is both callous and tiresome.
10. Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (1985, part five)
Obligatory Plot: Years after Tommy (Corey Feldman in the fourth movie) goes apeshit and hacks Jason to death, Tommy’s fellow residents in a state halfway house start to get owned in familiar ways.
Death Count: 19
Money Shot: There isn’t one, really, unless you count the topless girl who gets her eyes hacked out with garden shears. In an amusing sign of the times, the movie also upgrades to coke as the drug of choice.
Verdict: The series pulls a Halloween III: Season of the Witch, ditching the real Jason to morph into this half-baked whodunit, a curious if pointless addition to the overall canon.
9. Friday the 13th (2009)
Obligatory Plot: Essentially an amalgam of the first four original Friday the 13th features, the series’ 2009 reboot is part origin story and part retreading of ground that had been thoroughly, thoroughly covered. Suffice to say, horny teens go to Crystal Lake and then die.
Death Count: 15
Money Shot: In the most self-referential moment in the series’ history, Jason finds the original hockey mask from Friday the 13th Part III and dons it with great reverence, a slave to series convention.
Verdict: This film may have been made for fans of the series, but it has very little reason to exist. Because it’s a remake and not another step in the actual series, we simply retread some extremely familiar ground over again. It might be a pleasant diversion to watch some modern teens get wrecked by Jason, but the film has nothing new to say or contribute. –Jim Vorel
8. Jason X (2002)
Obligatory Plot: Another vaguely governmental outfit gets its hands on Jason, and after he nearly escapes, he’s frozen and sent into space. In the year 2455 (!), the sound of female orgasm brings him back to life (!!!).
Death Count: 28
Money Shot: To buy time, an android tries to occupy Jason with a simulation of Camp Crystal Lake circa 1980, complete with two floozies who beg Jason for booze, pot and “premarital sex.”
Verdict: Although the movie is an undeniable novelty and has some fun, campy bits, the sci-fi spin is as lame as it sounds.