Are Children’s Films OK? Checking in on Sonic the Hedgehog 2
Admittedly, when I told my editor I wanted to write something about Sonic the Hedgehog 2 a few weeks ago, I didn’t really know what that was exactly going to be. In my head, I just thought it would be kind of a funny bit if I went to see the sequel to the first Sonic movie—one of the last films to play theaters before the 2020 onslaught of COVID-19—not having actually seen the original and having little knowledge of Sonic the Hedgehog at all. It is hard not to view the Sonic movies as another teat in our IP-suckling entertainment sphere, but there is something very inherently funny to me about the existence of these two live-action Sonic movies. The fact that the first came out right before the entire world shut down; the fact that the filmmakers initially fucked up the look of Sonic so hard they were bullied into (assumedly) overworking their poor underpaid animators to redesign him; the fact that James Marsden seems stuck in this unending purgatory of starring in buddy comedy films with a CGI animal. It all culminates in a pair of adaptations which only serve to rehash old characters (animated) in a new medium (CG) that, if anything, diminish any merits of the source and still make more money than I ever will in my lifetime.
But I understand that Sonic is immensely popular, and the first film did quite well for itself (becoming North America’s all-time highest-grossing videogame film). The second film is doing well, too, both critically and financially—being on track to beat the record set by its predecessor and leaving Michael Bay’s heart-pounding action extravaganza Ambulance in the blue-tinged dust. Paramount’s president of domestic distribution, Chris Aronson, said that “This film did such a great job in service of the fans while not excluding general audiences.”
An interesting and confident declaration to make. General audiences?? How general are we talking here? All ages? I mean, I’m 27. But ok, let me just say that I’m not here to totally disparage a film that I can acknowledge is not in my age bracket—nor to spend the whole time bemoaning the “state of children’s entertainment.” I did that already last year with regards to Space Jam: A New Legacy, and, upon reflection, perhaps it was a bit histrionic, if not altogether untrue. The fact is that I don’t watch children’s films, really. This is because I’m an adult, and I’m simply not interested in them. I don’t have a child; I don’t know any children or have friends with children. I wouldn’t know if Disney’s films are good or bad now versus when I watched them and loved them as a child, because I don’t really care.
Perhaps, Wolfwalkers was the one of the last children’s films I was truly eager to see, though I feel like that one doesn’t count. I tend to still seek out films similar to it. Animation is often wrongly designated as a “kids only” medium, but there are many animated vehicles that are accessible for kids but challenging and therefore apt for people of all ages. But many are not, and that’s fine. Many are dumb and simplistic; purely dizzying displays of pretty colors. That is more than ok, and I loved my fair share of them when I was a kid. I had elected to check out the Space Jam sequel because I’d spent years holding the original near and dear to my heart and wishing wicked, evil things upon those who spoke ill of it. But I finally needed to grow up and admit to myself that the first movie is nearly complete dogshit, similarly cynical sludge as the second one. The Citizen Kane of my childhood cinephilia canon had sadly been relegated to the rose-colored annals of my memory, along with many others.
I went to see Sonic the Hedgehog 2 in Midtown Manhattan on a Monday afternoon with my friend who, like myself, had also not seen the first Sonic movie. Yet this friend expressed some mild intrigue due to their lifelong devotion to Doctor “Eggman” Robotnik actor Jim Carrey, and that’s part of why I was able to rope them in. They figured that even if the movie was awful (it was), at the very least, Jim Carrey would be charming and funny, as he is known to be. And, as we are both members of AMC’s A-List subscription, the tickets cost us nothing. Seeing the film was no skin off our backs. Why not be a little masochistic, a little silly? I would be lying if I said that this excursion to the theater was purely out of “doing a bit” and not also a little curiosity. The film had already been reported as dragging both Morbius and Ambulance through the dirt, financially. I wanted to have a look at the film that the masses were clamoring to see.