Maroon 5’s JORDI Is a Convincing Enough Case for Simulation Theory

JORDI’s best moments invariably come when somebody else is taking the reins—there is a noticeable drop in quality whenever a feature shifts back to the airless void of Levine’s honking falsetto. On “One Light,” for example, when the song transitions from the bandleader’s lazy references to a “world gone crazy” and tired vocal delivery into Zimbabwean singer/producer Bantu’s verse, the stark contrast in the energy levels between the two performers is palpable and serves only to frame the album in a bleaker, flatter perspective. “Remedy,” a sickeningly derivative track that features Stevie Nicks, really makes you wonder, “Damn, I wonder how much they paid Stevie Nicks.” Attempting to borrow from the Fleetwood Mac playbook, i.e., anthemic and catchy vocal hooks with simple but effective instrumentals, the song’s flat production doesn’t dare any risk and thus fails to be convincing.

Several moments on JORDI are simply confusing. On “Seasons,” Levine does his best Post Malone impression, sounding embarrassingly out of place. “Lovesick” feels like a sentence made from an iPhone’s predictive text feature: technically legible, but wonky and discomforting. Sounding more like a first pass at a project than a finished demo, every element of “Lovesick,” from the lifeless production to its boilerplate lyrics and melody, sounds blithely uninspired. “Memories” is a track only notable for being almost as viscerally annoying and ubiquitous as their Kendrick Lamar-featuring hit “Don’t Wanna Know.”

With the album meant to serve as a tribute to the band’s late manager and Levine’s childhood friend, there could have been a meaningful opportunity to return to what made the band unique and celebrate what set them apart to begin with. Instead, Levine chose to lean into his image as America’s sexless mannequin, through which some of the laziest pop music of the decade can be safely pumped out onto the masses. Eventually, the day will come in which the subtleties of what makes pop music great will be deemed fully unnecessary for mass consumption, and as the A.I. that inevitably will replace Maroon 5 ceaselessly creates and regurgitates the same trends back at their audience, subsisting fully off the bile of its own design, it will sound virtually indistinguishable from JORDI.

Jason Friedman is a Paste editorial music intern located in Philadelphia and they’re not afraid of ghosts.