Donald Trump Requested a Test of His Cognition Because He’s Definitely Not Worried He May Be an Idiot

By Jacob Weindling  |  January 17, 2018 | 11:01am
Photo by Mark Wilson/Getty
Politics Features Donald Trump
Donald Trump Requested a Test of His Cognition Because He’s Definitely Not Worried He May Be an Idiot

President Trump is definitely not insecure. He’s a stable genius. He’s told us so—far more than once.

Note: Credit where it’s due, those tweets are hilarious.

Ronny Jackson is the White House doctor (he’s a credible doctor, unlike Trump’s doctor, who looks like if Dr. Emmet Brown from Back to the Future had a real bad opium addiction), and Jackson declared President Trump “fit for duty.” However, one nugget in the story jumped out to us here at Paste. Per The Guardian:

According to Jackson, the checkup included a cognitive assessment at Trump’s own request, and the self-proclaimed “stable genius” performed “exceedingly well”.

The Montreal Cognitive Assessment test is used to screen for dementia and Alzheimer’s, but given that the doctor did not prescribe the test, I’m willing to bet that Trump’s request had less to do with being fearful of being sick, and more to do with obtaining another talking point to refute pretty much all of Washington D.C.’s assertion that Trump is a moron. Call me a cynic, but a man made entirely of Big Macs and Diet Coke who doesn’t move unless it’s absolutely necessary doesn’t strike me as someone who’s very concerned about their health. I don’t believe that Alzheimer’s and dementia are interchangeable with “stupid,” but given Trump’s simple mind and his perpetual desire to promote himself at all costs, I think functionally, he does in this instance. He saw “cognitive test” and immediately grabbed yet another item to squeeze for personal gain.

President Trump is definitely not worried that people think he’s a loon. And he’s definitely not upset about his litany of lunatic examples in Michael Wolff’s book of seemingly truthful lies, Fire and Fury. President Trump just wanted to test his cognitive abilities because he is a responsible adult who believes in the scientific method, and is willing to change his beliefs if the situation merits it. In fact…

Sorry, I can’t keep up this MAGA shtick anymore. I don’t know how they do it. I couldn’t even last one sentence without snapping. Oh well, let’s all point and laugh at the big dumb dummy who’s definitely concerned that everyone thinks he’s a big dumb dummy. If we troll Trump well enough, he’ll revive Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader? and compete against Barron Trump’s friends just to try prove us wrong. A lot of the Trump presidency is scary, which is why we have to revel in the stupid to take the edge off. The president subconsciously thinks he may be an idiot. That’s empirically hilarious.

Jacob Weindling is a staff writer for Paste politics. Follow him on Twitter at @Jakeweindling.

 
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