Nobody Likes You, Donald

Politics Features Donald Trump
Nobody Likes You, Donald

Nobody likes you, Donald. Did you know this? If not, let me catch you up to speed.

People don’t like you because you’re stupid, mean and…well…a lot of adjectives in the dictionary can describe you. I’ll give you that Donny—just like your pal Putin says, “Trump is a vivid personality. And what, he’s not vivid? He’s vivid.”

See Donald, you’ve won over the marks and the desperate. That’s how untalented, lazy, grifters born at the top of a pile of money stay at the top. But the truth of evolution is that as time marches on, there are fewer people who can be tricked into working against their own interests. Sure, plenty still exist in this country—enough to elect a president—but the Republican Party’s efforts to restrict the vote are proof that the tide of mankind is still shifting in the same direction that it was during the French Revolution. People are getting smarter. Always. Except you Donny. You’re definitely getting dumber.

A long view of history reveals that your incompetence isn’t even original, as this entire Wikipedia page devoted to mentally ill monarchs proves. You don’t know anything, and you don’t care about anyone but yourself, so your attempts to say you’re bettering our lives don’t come off as earnest, and many of those blinded by the 2016 campaign are beginning to see the light. Soon, the only people left on your bandwagon will be the dregs of 4chan, whatever is left of Sean Hannity’s brain, and Alex Jones’ band of lead-filled Infowars lunatics. Aside from all the political issues you have fumbled in less than a year’s time, you’ve committed the cardinal American sin of being inauthentic, and now you’re losing your casual fans.

People don’t like you, Donald, and one glance at that FiveThirtyEight chart above proves that problem is getting worse, not better. Last night demonstrated how supremely motivated Democrats are to vote against you, and your bumbling actions are helping them driving more nonvoters to the polls. Meanwhile, because you have no clue how to govern and just want to play ‘campaign’ forever, the people who actually believed that you would improve their lives are beginning to look for other options in the wake of your zero significant accomplishments.

And Don, trust me: as someone who mainlined the Barack Obama Kool-Aid directly into my veins in 2008, those of us who feel scorned by a candidate can become quite motivated enemies. Your incompetence is sowing the seeds for your destruction—and that’s before we get to the whole Russia thing, plus the fact that you practically admitted to obstruction of justice in an interview with NBC News after firing James Comey. Boy, that week was a doozy, and everyone’s practically forgotten about it because there were so many more that followed.

Last night, droves of people in (at least) Virginia and New Jersey took time out of their day to stand in line just so they could give you the middle finger. This isn’t good. Well, unless you’re on the right side of the political aisle. Then this is looking pretty damn entertaining. But don’t take it from me, take it from a conservative pollster who knows this stuff far better than you or I do.

Jacob Weindling is a staff writer for Paste politics. Follow him on Twitter at @Jakeweindling.

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